1 is da magic number........please sit down, have a glass of merlot....or do you prefer ice water or cranapple juice? aight, open your mind and your ears, dont hear me....listen to me. ok? lets begin. *ventin* people say the biggest form of flattery is when someone mimics what you do...in a sense, tries to think like you, act like you, talk like you.....basically tries to become you. well, like i always say and will continue to say, i am cream. havent always been cream cuz i havent always been true to myself.....dont get it fucked up....there is no doubt in my mind that right now, this second, and as long as i have breath in my body, i will be me. i dont understand why individuals have the urge to feed off of me. feed off of my intellect and my creativity...like vultures. in all honesty, that shit bothers me. it doesnt take effort for ME to be ME...but i know it takes a lot of effort for one to try to be ME. so, for your own sake, stop it. if you want to be like me....just do this, DO YOU. you can never be cream...not even on my worst day. next topic....i feel for someone.....like yall didnt already know. yes...someONE. does she know who she is? yes she does. we are goin to flow like blood through my veins and if the most high sees fit, in time....we will be exclusive. as far as the other peeps who are tryin to get into my space, most of them do not have the qualifications to be there. its sad but damn true. next topic...home. yo, i have been eatin sooooo damn much. i told yall i was goin to gain mad weight when i came home. aint nothin like jerk chicken, caramel cake, homemade lasagna, fried chicken with texas pete....aint nothin like my momma's cookin. i need to back away from the food befah i cant fit into my new clothes. ive been spendin a lot of time with my niece...thats my pumpkin pooh. i look at her when she looks at my brother....its like he is the most important person in the world. when he leaves, she cries. when he comes into a room, her face lights up and she starts raising her arms so he can pick her up. it makes me think, when i was her age, my father wasnt around. i was never daddy's little princess like my niece is because my father had his own issues that he was dealin with at the time and still to this day is still dealin with his damn issues. i talked to him about a week ago...sometimes i think its better that i dont talk to him cuz all it does is make me upset. he makes me want to kick him in the damn throat. he is at the top of my list of people who can not fathom how much they hurt me because it is beyond their mental capabilities. i love him because half of me came from him. i am upset with him because he has never done a damn thing for me. no christmas presents or birthday presents....not even fuckin cards. nothing. for a while, it was like he didnt exist. there is not a day that goes by that i dont think about him. lookin at my brother with my niece...i cant see how he could not feel fucked up for not bein here for me. i know he cant make up for the time he lost....i just want to know that half of me. i want him to be in my life, even if its just a phone call every now and then. i want us to have a relationship....that shit just seems like its impossible. i cant make him love me...i cant make him call....i cant make him be the father that i always wanted...cuz the reality is, he is a grown ass man and i cant make him do shit. aight...next topic. im thinkin about boxing again. i trained when i was 17...stopped because i was lazy. i need an outlet. i need to get in shape. boxing took care of all of that. i might even compete professionally. it will keep me focused on something besides school. it will help me let out all this built up aggression and anger. aight...thats enough ventin for now. thank you for listenin. now, let me drink my merlot.

bah humbug.....my christmas was aight. i am not really a christmas person, meaning i dotn get all happy when christmas comes around. i mean, its aight...i buy people gifts and all that crap, but that's about it. dont expect cream to be all cheery, singin jingle bells, and bakin christmas cookies. christmas is a very social holiday and cream is kinda anti-social. i had company for christmas eve and christmas morning. all i have to say about that is i got it, i got it, i got it bad. peep the fourth reason in the chorus and that is how that situation was. my niece gave me her cold...so now da kid doesnt feel too hot. im tired of wipin my nose and coughin. my food doesnt taste right so i barely eat. since i have been home, i have had a lot of chill time...time to write, read, meditate.....all the stuff i used to do before i went to college. i got a webcam....so now maybe...just maybe....you will be one of the fortunate people that will be able to see this beautiful speci-woman named cream. i aint doin no kinky shit...dont even think about it dammit. anywhoo, before i go back to school, im goin shoppin for my dorm room....i want to be prepared just in case i have to entertain company. just in case someone comes to visit....hey, it might happen.. i know this blog was borin as shit cuz i was bored as hell writin it...so im goin to bed. muahhhzzzzz.

hey you.....i am tryin so hard not to feel for you...not to smile when i hear your voice, see you online, or even when i think about you. the reality is, i do. i smile cuz for the past 3 weeks, you have given me something to think about. you leave me wantin more....its like im eatin 1 chicken wing with some texas pete....it's not enough...i want more. not sayin that i want to rush in a relationship, although the thought of you and i bein exclusive.....*damn there is one of those smiles again* im not sure how you feel....maybe ill ask you that the next time i talk to you. heres da bizness.....i cant allow myself to let you do more than inspire me to smile. i cant allow myself to be let down again...unless i know your intentions. you are hella cool...you move me like palm leaves in the wind. you make me feel orange (are yall still marinatin on that). all i want you to do is show me....show me that you are different....positively different. show me that you are worthy of bein a part of my future cuz you are not like those in my past. show me you can satisfy my mental and physical simultaneously. show me your interior and ill show you mine. fill the space in between the thick black lines of this situation with answers......peace.

work in progress......i know i know i know.....its been a minute. since i have been home i have been hella busy. i went to jersey...not goin to give out too many details....all i will say is i had a ball. been chillin with my fam. givin my brain a rest. i dyed my hair blonde....it didnt turn out as blonde as i wanted, but its cool cuz its going to be rinsed red all the time anyway. when i went to jersey, i learned a lot about myself. i have some things i am goin to work on. from this day forward, my main focus is on cream....what makes cream happy....what makes cream feel good. i have been talkin to someone.....i think i mentioned her in the last post....anywhoo, im feelin her fo real. she moves me. adds to my mental in every conversation. everytime i think about her, i smile. she makes me feel orange (let your mind marinate on that). i went to the bookstore and lost my mind. its been so long since i actually had time to sit down and read a book for pleasure. i sat down and sipped on a caramel macchiato and read books for about an hour. dawn told me about jessica care moore a long time ago....i didnt peep her work until today. when i go to a bookstore....i make a bee-line to the poetry section....of course. anywhoo, i read some of her work in a book called "listen up! spoken word poetry." yo, i read a piece by her called "one afro's blues"....i think that is what it is called. anywhoo, i must have that book. leiriq might be gettin it for me for christmas. cream loves presents. since i have been home, i have been shoppin like crazy. my brother bought me a coach bag, hat, and belt. i have bought clothes, shea butter and honey soap, and a couple of scarves. i went to victorias secret and lost my mind....passionate kiss and amber romance is the shiznit...and those lace boy-cut undies....ohhhhhh. *fannin myself* i cant wait until i have a woman....then i can wear lingerie for her. i want to be wearin a butterfly thong, an open cup bra, and a pair of 6 inch heels.....cookin breakfast for my woman. i know, i know.....ima make some woman very happy one day. i just gotta find one that makes ME happy. peace.

let me take you on a journey..........last night, i slept like a baby. i went to sleep listening to the rain. my ex called me at 3am and woke me up. usually, when she calls me late at night, after we get off the phone, i cant go back to sleep. not last night. after we hung up, i was out. maybe my efforts of takin her off the stove have finally paid off. i dont hate her...hate is such a strong word. my feelins for her are reactions of being hurt by her. i have finally realized that it is beyond her mental capability to even fathom how much she has hurt me. you cant expect but so much from a person whos main focus of energy is them. i have been talkin to someone for the past 2 weeks. i havent been moved like this in a while. she makes me laugh. she has ambition and she is workin to make shit happen. she has a fully functioning brain and utilizes it to the fullest. she adds to my mental table. im not goin to get my hopes up...im just goin to let things flow and see what happens. i hope she wont be another name added on to my dismissed list. i was talkin to someone last night about what i want from a woman. basically, they didnt understand why i put such a big emphasis on intelligence. well, heres why. i am an intelligent woman. not the most intelligent, but intelligent. my desire to know moves me. knowledge moves me. i feed my brain everyday...if i dont, it will go into starvation mode...i dont want hunger pains in my brain. in my past relationships, i always heard, "cream, you think too much." they thought i thought too much cuz they didnt think enough. they had nothin but inane, inconsequential conversation as a result of not exercising their brains. i vowed that the next woman i commit to will have a fully functioning brain and will use it to the fullest. im not sayin that they have to be an genius...they must be willin to expand their mind. i cant deal with a practicer of know-nothingism. so people, that is one of many pre-requisites for a relationship with cream. in other news....2 more days until i go home. im excited cuz i have all these plans. i want to thoroughly clean my mom's house....from the roota to the toota. im not a neat freak....i just get these spells where i want to clean everything. needless to say, my mother likes when they happen. im not lookin forward to dial-up internet service tho. i am so used to dsl...ill be aight tho. at least i got something. so, ill be updatin as normal while im not in school. today im goin to take a trip on the bus to walmart...i need some blank cds and some more little stuff for myself. i havent went shoppin for myself in so long...i always tend to the needs of others before myself. i have realized that i need to worry about me...cuz no one else will if i dont. takin care of me and my needs are at the top of my priority list. as much as i would love to keep writin...da kid gotta go to work...gotta make that paper for some new goodies.

beautiful one...this is not goin to be a bitter post. this is not goin to be a post about she who shall remain nameless. this is a post about me. first of all...id like to start off by kissin myself. then, id like to say i love the fuck out of myself...self i love the fuck out of you, ya heard me. (mannie fresh said it best) i am what i am.....5'5", 180 pounds (yeah i said it...WHAT), brown eyes, red medium length hair, big titties, aight size booty (i aint got a badookadunk but it aint flat either), thick in the thighs, wit a pot belly. i'm not a video ho look-alike...nor am i tryin to be. me..im not j-lo...me...im no trina....me...im no ashanti....me...im just me. apologies...i had a 50 moment. ya'll.....im a sexy muhhhfuucccacaaaaaa. from my nappy roots to my pot belly to my big feet. im luvin me right now. if i dont love me....who is? and if you dont love me.....fucka you wit a diseased monkeys dick. i know i havent been takin the best care for me...all that is about to change. lately, ive been thinkin about my future a lot. the dreams of me bein a supastar are comin more frequently.....is this a sign? i dont know. what i do know is i want it. im hungry for it. i have let some issues in my life cloud my vision....i have nobody to blame but me. now....my vision is clear and my eyes are on the prize (LMAO). i dont know what im goin to be famous for....all i know is im goin to be a star. right now...is my time to condition myself cuz when i finally make it....when i finally have it....im never goin to lose it. in other news...here is cream's christmas list......


1. A full length fake fur coat (cream luhs the animals)


2. Egyptian Musk body oil


3. 2 pounds of cleaned chitlins and a bowl of potato salad


4. Uncle Ray's Fire Bar-B-Que Potato Chips


5. 30 thin silver bangels


6. Gold open face teeth (fitted just for me, of course)


7. Cash Money's Greatest Hits


8. Designer Imposter's Giorgio Body Spray


9. Walmart pink $1.99 slippers


10. The biggest bottle of Grape Mad Dog 2020


11. A vacation to my bed


12. Real love


13. Gucci shearling boots


14. Little Debby Devil Squares


15. The entire Body and Soul CD Collection


16. 4 carat Trillion cut cubic zirconias


17. A platinum blonde and burgundy draw-string ponytail


of course this is not my real christmas list....except for the chitlins, gold teeth, and real love. aight, minus the gold teeth. here is my wishlist. hook da kid up.....cream is goin to bed now...be back lata.

have you fed your mind today?......its been a long time since i wrote something from my heart....ive been writing about my day to day activities, which is cool.....sometimes. come and sit with me on the love seat. comfy??? aight. i have been conversing with some pretty cool peeps lately. its wonderful when you can vibe with a person and after the conversation has concluded, your mind feels satisfied. its like when you eat a good meal...it doesnt have to fill u up....it's enough to satisfy. i feel my mind expanding....thats a beautiful experience. much love to errbody that has stroked my mind for the past couple of months....its too many of yall to name....you know who u are. last night i was layin in my bed watchin the snow fall and started thinkin.....as much as i say that i dont love my ex anymore, in my heart.....i know i still do. love is a deep emotion...its not an appliance, you cant turn it off and on. when you really, deeply love someone...im talkin bout lovin someone with every ounce of you...those feelins never go away. they may decrease in strength but they never go away. you will always love that person if it was true love. ive only been truly in love one time...and that was with my ex. i still love her, no doubt...just its not as strong as it used to be. i will be in love like that again....one day. love is a beautiful process and i would be lyin if i said i wouldnt go through it again. i need to collect my thoughts....chill and watch tv for a few.....there is some merlot in the fridge...pour you a glass. ill be back.

creamatize...john deere like a muhhhfuckkaaa.....cream baby is bizzack. my vacation was short but sweet...sorta like a hershey kiss. i went out to a gay club FINALLY. all eyes were on da kid. it felt good fo realla. me and leiriq had mad fun while i was home. thats my dog. she kept da kid focused cuz i flipped out for a minute...got salty over some shit i didnt have no bizness bein salty about..i'm not goin to put the situations (yes plural) on blast but just know this....the bitches (plural again) aint worth it. i had to get out my john deere on they ass....so, 2 more peeps have been officially kicked out of my damn space. yo, leiriq keeps clownin me cuz...aight heres da damn story. they gave out dental dams and condoms at the club. well, after we left the club, i still had mine in my hand. why in da hell did i walk in the store with them still in my damn hand?? i already had all eyes on me cuz i had on a corset top with my boobies pushed up, a long black skirt, and some black boots......but i had on leiriq's baby blue and white coat cuz my coat was in the trunk. i looked like a dominatrix (what's my name bitch?)when i walked in the store, everybody paused. me and leiriq were geekin...as usual. then i said..."leiriq..why i carry these in the store dawg?" she walked away from me laughin. yo, i cant wait to come back home so i can chill with my evil cartoon buddy leiriq. when she laughs, she sounds like one of those evil cartoon characters like gargamel from the smurfs. on too other shit, i got my hair braided...i look rather cute...it makes me look all innocent. i got tipsy off of some paul masson and coconut rum....amazed my brother cuz i can drink them both straight. liquor one of the few things i like straight. i watched my neice dance to sean paul. she bounces to the beat...its amazin that a 1 year old has rhythm. she looks like a combo of me and my brother. it's crazy. i officially do not like my brother's girlfriend. she's overly friendly. all up in ya damn face....cheesin and shit. i call that shit rat droppins....proof that a rat is amongst us. it would be in her best interest not to talk to me cuz i will most likely hurt her damn feelins. on to the present.....right now, i need a damn drink. i need somethin...shit. 2 more weeks of school and then....1 month vacation. i might be goin on a vacation within my vacation with a friend....keyword might. i dont know yet. back to the women folk.....they still gettin on my nerves....ya know...same shit, different toilet. ill vibe more on that lata...i really dont feel like talkin bout them ho's.....cream needs sleep and some rum. peace.....lataaaaaa.

this piece is kinda angry....ive been wonderin whats up with my feelins and heres what i came up with. it's called "past tense and presently salty" *words spoken.....you Had me...feelin like i was not worthy....of your time, your effort, your compassion, your love....you...Had me..feelin like what the most high created was totally wrong...I was not embraced by your eyes or your heart....i was disdained...i was substandard....you....Had...me...feelin like you lowered your standards cuz i wasnt up to par with your visions of a falsified hoochiefied ghetto queen that could give applause to your so-called greatness with her badookadunk...i was just cream...that thick red headed chic with those pretty brown eyes and them sexy ass lips...but you thought i wasnt shit...compared to the women in the club, the women in the videos, and the women your dreams...your actions screamed louder than your words of adequacy...you didnt have to verbalize for me to recognize...how you...Had...me feelin was evidence enough...you...Had....me...feelin....as in already ago and past tense...unattractive, unwanted, unsuitable, and unacceptable....at the present...you Have me feelin......bitter. Copyright © All Rights Reserved. that's all for now peeps. cream needs sleep.

unexpressed....my hair is back red and my blog is back orange....back to basics. i have a comments block at the bottom. tell me whats on your mind. links are to your left...peep them. there is a lot on my mind so this might be a long post. i went to walmart today and i thought a lot while i was on the bus. that long trip gives me time to think. aight, first thought...my sexuality and my religious beliefs. me and artiste (congrats on the birth of your blog) were having a discussion about that yesterday. i dont think im going to be slidin down a gasoline rainbow into hell because i am a lesbian. damn i love that word..say it with me...les-bee-an. if the most high wrote my life out before i was even thought of, then everything, including me being a lesbian is in there. now, if im wrong, i will have to answer to the most high on judgement day....no one of flesh and blood can judge me. i do what i do and best believe...i do it very well. there is so much more to me than my sexuality. i know that i am a good person....the right that i have done is greater than the wrong i have done. next thought....i talked to my ex today and she told me that over the weekend she had sex with the girl she is talkin to. i cant help but feel some kind of way about that whole situation cuz i was in love with her at one point. i know that we both have moved on....just to think about her touchin someone else like she touched me makes my stomach turn. maybe she felt the same way when i told her that i had been intimate with someone else....cuz she told me she didnt want to hear it. with so many people wantin to talk to me and be with me....why am i even feelin anything about that situation? yo, i am so ready to be loved and to give love....i havent met anyone who is worthy of my love. i have a big heart and when i love someone, i love them with everything in me. so i gotta keep my guard up at all times....i dont want to feel the way i felt when me and my ex broke up. that was some painful shit. sometimes i wonder, does she actually understand how bad she hurt me? honestly, i dont think so...i think its beyond her. enough about her, i feel my mood changin. i took a psychology exam today...think i did aight. it was on affiliation, attachment, and love. i shoulda got an A on that bitch. 2 days and a wake up and ill be home. next thought...i know yall are tired of hearin about me goin home but dammit i need to go home. i need a break. i wish i could put my life on pause just so i could catch up on sleep. im so tired. tired of every damn thing..school, love, people, every damn thing. im just fuckin tired. hopefully, home will make me feel betta. i hope i dont see any of my damn dreaded male exes. i mean, they are aight, i just dont feel like bein bothered. im goin home to enjoy myself not to be asked 50 billion questions about me bein a lesbian (i had to say it again) or to be annoyed by them tellin me that they can change me. my ex asked me am i goin to jump his wood when i get home.*gettin heated* negro please. i only jump rubber and plastic. i dont get down with wood. what the fuck eva. i dont like dicks that spit and i only like dicks that are strapped to a woman. speakin of straps and women....i need some oochie. cot damn. i know.....tmi. i need some tho....i need my mind stroked as well....cant have one without the other. next thought...where are all the intellectual studs with their minds right at? does that type of stud exist? can i get one in my life please? pretty pwease. aight, enough for now. cream is done fo da nite. peace.

5 days to sunrise....you gon eat yo cornbread........its only monday and i feel overwhelmed already...its like i only have 5 more days until i go home...where i know that peeps luh me and i can eat REAL food (i'ma gain about 10 pounds)....where i can de-tox (finally)....where i can be at peace. this room is gettin old. i started a collage on one of my walls. so far, it's lookin pretty hot. i need more stuff on there. i will add to it as the school year goes on. hopefully, i can put some good grades on there. da kid's grades aint gon be so hot this semester. this semester has been so hard for me and i know that it will only get harder....so i gotta suck it up and deal with it. like i said...5 days to sunrise. yo, i have been havin real bad headaches lately...not nothin i cant handle...but its weird cuz ive never had headaches. maybe its stress. then. im startin to break out. im startin to think that it doesnt have anything to do with me not de-toxin in a while. i think i might be allergic to somethin in this room. im startin to sound like huny. i hope that its not as bad as her allergic reaction. fo realla. last night, i was readin some poetry by paul laurence dunbar and lucille clifton. i was moved, fo real. im workin on this piece...ill post it when im done. the headache from hades is kickin my ass...so im out. lata.

so beautiful you are........yo, this meshell got me open. makes me want to cut off all the lights, burn some jasmine incense, and lay down in my bed and be still....*thought* i want to be held right now. its been so long since i have been held by someone that i know loves me. words are just words without actions. when someone tells me they love me....i always say show me, dont tell me. dont speak about it, be about it. i would rather have someone who didnt tell me they love me all the time, but showed me how much they love me, than to have someone constantly tellin me they love me and dont do shit but talk. like sade said....show me how deep love can be. keyword: show. ive only been in love once in my life. even tho i got hurt like a muhfucka in the end, it was a beautiful experience. if it didnt hurt like it did, i wouldnt have known how deep it was. if i wasnt in love with her, i would have said fuck her and moved on. but i didnt. i went through some shit. like i said, heart aches are fo real. it showed me that i am capable of lovin someone with everything in me. i didnt think da kid could love someone like that, until i loved her. right now, i believe that i am ready to love someone....i am ready to settle down and just be committed to one person....i am ready to build something with someone. yo, im just not going to settle for less than i deserve. i am a very good woman (a queen...dammit) and i deserve the same. im goin to be patient....i believe the most high is preparin me for her and she'll come into my life when the most high sees fit. i wonder who she is....what she looks like....what her goals are in life....what shes doing right now. maybe shes bein prepared for me. i know ive been talkin about love a lot lately...its really been on my mind. more than usual. anywhoo....i only have a week and a day left lil buddies and ill be home eatin chitlins and oysters (not at the same time tho)!! my momma (happy b-day to the queen who birthed cream) is gettin all excited about me comin home. i love her and my brother soooooo much. i miss them when im away....give me about a week at home....and im ready to come back to school. im just used to havin my own space....not havin to answer the phone when i dont want to....makin as much noise as i want to....sleepin all day and not doin a damn thing if i dont want to....the list goes on and on. thats the benefit of havin your own....you are the queen of yo shit and you can do what the hell you want to when you want to. yo, the kid is breakin out again. my skin is not glowin like its supposed to. i know its cuz i havent de-toxed in a long time. de-toxin gets impurities out of your body. i used to do it every week. i need to but i dont have everything i need, so it will have to wait until i get home. then, i can take a bath with dead sea salt and black soap....burn some sandalwood incense....sip on some grapefruit juice....play me some boney james....and chill. da queen needs to take her royal ass to bed...french quiz tomorrow....*thought*.... je deteste francais!! ....peace lil buddies.

je m'adore.......ATTENTION...your mind is not playin a cruel joke on your eyes...the page changes colors whoadi. there are a lot of peeps feelin me now and honestly, i dont know how to carry it. ive never had peeps feel me for whats in my brain. everybody used to tell da kid that she was weird and shit. when i decided to do what the fuck i do, people get intrigued by me. im livin proof that if you are true to yourself and you just do what the fuck you do and tell errbody that dont like it to suck a diseased monkey's ass....you'll get nothin but love in return. thank you to all the peeps who have been showin me love. yall dont know how yall cheer me up. ive been in a mood lately. i dont undadig it. its not good or bad, its just a mood. ive been hella mean lately. snappin at people...bein more anti-social than normal. i thought i was pms'n....im still on a red alert, the code red aint came yet. so, maybe i am. i wish it would hurry up and do tha damn thang so i can get it ova with. i registered for classes this morning. im takin a full load next semester...no social life for cream. oh well. im just tryin to get the fuck out of school. i need some money. yo, im startin to develop a crush on someone. can u believe cream baby is.....havin a crush on someone? hell to da nah. its true tho. im feelin this woman like....damn. aint no words that can describe it. we had the discussion.."do good studs/femmes exist?" well, i know that good femmes exist cuz dammit i am a good femme. i know this. as far as good studs, i also know that they exist. i just dont know where. if i did, i would be on the first bus there to cop me one. when me and leiriq talked about this, she said im too selective. i have the right to be selective. i am a queen dammit. intelligence, honesty, depth, good hygiene, knowledge of self, and ambition are not much to ask. deep, soulful eyes and a pretty throat would be gravy on my plate. most importantly...i want someone to add to my mental table instead of always takin away from it. im tired of not havin my mind stroked. im tired of meetin practicers of know-nothingism. fuck how well you can stroke my body...can u stroke my mind??? the physical part is important, but you have to stroke my mind before you stroke my body. my brain is my main erogenous zone. i want whats beyond passionate love...that compassionate, respectful, healthy, loyal, kinda love. anyway, back to the woman im diggin like an ol' school record (been listenin to too much meshell)....im goin to talk to her some more and see where it takes us. im just so tired of the wankstas and the bullshittas. i hope she aint anotha one that will be added my long list of wankstas and bullshittas. well as much as i want to write some more.......i got to go to work lil buddies.....muahhhhhhh.
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dear sweetness and artiste'......i'm writin this to you because i feel yall. i feel what yall are goin through because i have been where you are at....about a month or 2 ago. i loved my ex with everything in me. words cant even describe the love i had for her. i had more than passionate love for her. i had companionship love for her. she was my best friend and lover in 1 person. shit changes tho. people do things, people say things, people feel things, and shit changes. thats just a fact of life. i luhh you and artiste' like yall are my sistahs. as much as i luh my favorite artiste'...you need to let her go. the longer you try to hold on to somethin that is not there, the longer you waste your time. time that you could be devotin to someone who will love you the same way or more than you love them. i had to let my ex go and i know its a long, hard, stressful process, but you got to do tha damn thing. it hurts like a muhfucka but i guarantee you, it will hurt a lot worse if you keep holding on. she will never be the same person she was before whateva. evolution moves forward, never backward. so, just accept the fact that she is who she is and will never be who she was again and everything else will fall in place. ill be here fo you...that's what cream is here for. now, on to my favorite artiste'. stop bein so damn mean. nahh, i'm playin. thought...i got some damn nerve callin somebody else mean. like i said, shit changes. you got to mend that heart and let go of that negativity. all that bitterness and anger isnt healthy at all. let it go and maybe one day soon yall can be friends again. i know deep down yall love each other. im here fo both of yall...yall know how to reach me. aight...how is cream doin? cream is pms'n. ive been slightly emotional lately. but, i havent cried yet. i havent flipped on anybody...yet. i cant wait until this weekend. i aint doin a muhfuckin thang. im gonna sit on my ass and write poetry all day. i aint gon crack a damn school book. im tired of studyin. i need to do some shit fo cream. i just want to enjoy my muhfuckin self. damn, i have a potty mouth tonight. yall like the new layout??? i think its pretty. the orange was gettin kinda old. i needed somethin different. since i luhh orange so much, ill probably go back to it later. anywhoo, cream needs some sleep. nite, nite.

no ideas original........yo, i had an aight scurry day, fo realla...i got a B on that the criminal justice exam that i thought i failed.....one point from a fuckin A. plus, i got an A on my paper. i was sooooooo peachy. then when i got home, i had 7 sour strawberry suckers, some reese cups, a hershey bar, a pack of sour patch kids, and a bunch of strawberry warheads outside of my door. someone knows i luhhhhhh suckers and i luhhhh sour candy. they forgot the gummy bears, but thats aight. then...my fuckin computer crashed. it's aight now....i flipped cuz i thought i lost all my music. i would have been salty as hell if i had. yooo, ive been gettin phone calls and e-mails askin me what or who was i salty with when i wrote my last entry. well...they shall remain nameless. i was sooo heated that i couldnt sleep....i would sleep for a few minutes and wake up. just know this....they have been downgraded to associate status. i have a very low tolerance for bullshit and negativity. like i said, im not a snake charmer. anywhoo, i went to my favorite store in the whole world besides target. i got some sandalwood, jasmine, and coconut incense, some dark grey beads, and of course my usual black beads. my new anklet has dark grey beads. i have to get some more bead cord so i can make some more. i have a thing for anklets. i saw this cute indian necklace that i want soooooo bad. it had the belly chain to match....i dont do the belly chain thing but i was feelin that necklace. usually i dont like anything around my neck but it was so cute. ima cop it one day along with the jimi hendrix door beads i saw. lately, a lot of women have been interested in me. for so long, i thought that no one would be attracted to my personality. im mad weird to most people so i intimidate them to a degree. im not used to gettin all this attention. its cool tho. i need to get used to it cuz im goin to be famous one day. well, i need to go rinse my hair...im not feelin this jet black anymore....im feelin red again. peace, love, and soooouuuuulllllllllllllll.

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love me or leave me alone *ventin*.....when i was re-born, i said fuck everything. fuck what anybody thinks about me..they can all go straight to hell. fuck everybody in my life at the time. i cut everybody off. i isolated myself for a minute and just recently started lettin people back into my space. i told ya'll before, i keep my grass cut so i can see the snakes. lately, i havent had time to cut my grass. well tonight, i cut my grass and a snake looked at me dead in the eyes. so, as a result, cream is back in fuck it mode....im not a snake charmer. i live for cream...point blank. i just do what i know best, ME. i cant and im not going to try to be anybody else but cream cuz cream is totally mastered by cream. i know every curve, every thought, every experience, every damn thing about me and dammit, i love everything about me. what you read and for the priviledged, what you see and hear...is what you get. so, whoever doesnt like me, my work, my lifestyle, etc or feels like they can judge me....can take a diseased dick up their ass. i aint got to prove shit to nobody but the most high and cream. when you point your finger...3 is pointin back at you. so check yo'self before you attempt to check cream. cuz best believe, i will not hesitate to pull yo muhfuckin card. there isnt a person of flesh and blood besides my mother that can judge me. share dat.

melt.....words spoken....flashbacks of you and i.....2 sunsets ago...conjoined...you above me, with your locs on my collarbone...our hands entwined above my head and us moving in perfect harmony...our minds and bodies collaborating....creating a 2 woman orchestra....makin me feel feelins that were unfamiliar, yet unforgettable...the way that you pleased me...emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and most of all...physically...giving me pleasure in abundance...those kisses...soft and wet...that made my hips rise and gyrate...using your tongue as my axis and my compass...you took me directly to the stratosphere...makin my voice scream your praises and my body sing your praises....my body craves to be devoured and stroked by you...baby, you made this cream....melt in a wet dream.(c) all rights served. you fukkin bitin bastids!!!! anyway, did i make you horny baby? did i? did i make you randy baby?...yeah. i had to drop off that piece...it's been dancin in my head since saturday. i need a nap. ill sleep for a couple of hours and get up and do some more damn homework. da kid is gettin so tired of school dunnies. i am ready to go home.....24 days to go. im ready to eat my chitlins and potato salad, drink some grey goose...straight..no chaser (im bout it dammit)....definately drink some coconut rum, go out and shake my ass, spoil my mommy, catch up on sleep, and chill with my fam. im finna go to sleep. i luh u buh bye.

honey molasses, its gettin late....i havent posted in a while cuz to be totally honest, i needed some time to get my thoughts together. so much has happened since the last time i posted. i havent been doin anything but thinkin, goin to class, and listenin to ursula rucker. school is still stressing me out. im tryin to hurry up and graduate. goin to school isnt payin the bills. ive been seein females my age go shoppin everyday and basically live like queens...while i sit here and have nothin but bottled water in my fridge...havent had a new pair of shoes since early this past summer...livin off of this nasty ass cafeteria food...hopin that it doesnt get cold before i go home cuz i dont have a winter coat.....prayin that my grandma loans me the money to pay my room deposit for next year.... yada, yada, yada...it could be more crappy than it is...so, i thank the most high for what i have and pray that he continues to bless me. i met honey wednesday night. im dont put a big emphasis on appearances but she was attractive....6'3", thick, with shoulder length locs. i finally rode in a big 18 wheeler....you feel like you are on top of everything. it was real cool. we talked most of the night. im really feelin her but i still have my guard up. thoughts of her are startin to appear more frequently in my mind. im startin to look forward to talkin to her. everytime the phone rings...im startin to wish its her. yo, the situation is makin me maaaad shook cuz im so afraid of gettin hurt. i never want to feel what i felt after me and my ex broke up. thats when i found out that heart aches are fo real. my heart literally hurt...it felt like someone kept squeezin my heart real tight like they were ringin out a sponge. i didnt eat...i barely slept. i never want to feel that ever again. anyway, i dont know what is goin to happen between me and honey...ima just let shit flow. it has the potential to be serious, but the question is will it be fucked up before it can reach its full potential??? on to other shit....ive conversed with some real cool people lately. me and leiriq have been talkin for about a week and a half. she is mad cool. it's rare to meet someone from home who actually has a damn brain. we are gonna go out when i go home. im lookin forward to actually sittin down and talkin to her face to face. i have been conversin with dizzle also. well, her name is dee but i call her dizzle. dizzle is from michigan. we talked a long time ago but when i told her i had a girlfriend she stopped talkin to me so much. she didnt want to disrespect my relationship...i respect that fo real. time went past, she sent me a note and we have been talkin every since. then there is sunya, candyce, nubian, oshun, dawn, renee, talia, and requo. ive been gettin my mind stroked everyday. im so blessed to have so many positive people around me. its rainin outside....im finna lay in my bed and try to clear my mind so i can catch up on all the sleep ive lost. keyword...TRY. lataaaaaaa.

the beautiful 1....words spoken.....have you ever known someone that made your heart melt because your conversations were hot, heavy, and deep? i have. i talk to her almost everyday...when shes not busy...shes a real busy person but she always makes time to vibe with me. i crave her conversations cuz they move me...they take me on mental trips from ancient egypt to dc. right now, shes goin through some things and i feel her. i wish i could take all the negativity out of her heart and replace it with my love...cuz i have so much to give...but she doesnt see that or see me. i want this woman..let me stress that....i want this WOMAN....i want to massage her, from her feet to her crown... vibe with her without sayin words, cook ital food for her, write poetry inspired by her, but most of all.... love her....love her like the goddess she is...she is my hathor, my pakhet, and my qadesh all wrapped up into 1...she is my cool breeze when its 105 degrees, she is the beginning of my perception, she is the emergence of light when my world is dark, she is what she is and i like who she is....but she doesnt know who she is...i call her my beautiful 1. (c) all rights served. fo all you fuccin bitin bastidssssssss. yo, ive had mad ish on my mind lately. i am in a real uncomfortable situation. i feel like i'm sittin in the middle of 2 people in a back seat. i have a lot on my brain...i needed to get that..whateva it was i just wrote..out of my head....ill vibe more lata...right now i need to rest my brain. sweet dreams.

mind sex..........yo, masturbation is a very healthy thing. its cool to do it by yourself....but when you are on the phone with someone...its even better. you have mental imagery of that person, just by hearing their voice. it's like they are there, but really it's just their voice and your imagination collaborating. that collaboration had us talkin shit to each other. it had my whole body tinglin. it had her moanin my name. that collaboration made us climax together. that collaboration was a beautiful thing. enough about that. just when i thought i couldnt find an intellectual convo online.... i met the coolest woman. her name is nubian. we talked online for a few and we clicked instantly. she is a musician/poet/visual artist. she called me and yoooo, her poetry is bangin. i wish that i could have talked to her longer and heard some of her music but i had to go cuz one of my friends called me wit an issue. cream da counselor had to take over. nubian has my number and she saved me as a buddy on aol so i hope i get to vibe with her a lot more soon. i know this entry is maaad short, but that collaboration has put my ass to bed. i'll holla lata. nite nite.

play...pause...eject...now she sleeps with the fishes......last night, reality stood up, walked over to me, and slapped me. i hate to keep talkin about the same thing when i know in my heart that the simple solution is to let it go. let the whole thing go. kiss it goodbye and let it sleep with the fishes. apologies, i watched the godfather for the 100th time last night. that's my favorite movie of all time. "its a mafia message....it means lucia brasi sleeps with the fishes." like i was sayin. i loved her like i loved no other. what me and her had is past tense. it can never be rekindled. no one has hurt me like she did. all we can be is friends. so, its time to let all the feelings that still remain, all the feelings that you shouldnt have for someone that is just your friend, sleep with the fishes. anyway, i talked to dawn today. she read me a new poem.....woo lawd. i had to cross my legs! that was my treat for the day. i get so nervous when i talk to her on the phone. online, im aight. but on the phone, im speechless. im never one to be totally speechless. dawn is one of those people that when you are on the phone with her, you want to keep your mouth shut and just listen to what she has to say. ive only talked to her on the phone about 3 times. everytime, i was so damn quiet. today, i told her that her poetry makes me want to cremate my notebook. she gave me some inspiring words (as normal) and told me to keep writing. one day, im goin to get up enough bravery to read some of my poetry to her. i went back to work at 2 cuz cream has no cream. i get paid on wednesday but i got to pay my room deposit plus all my other expenses. so, wednesday night, im goin to be broke, but everything will be paid. but still, i would be so nice to be able to go out to eat instead of eatin this nasty ass cafeteria food every day. yo, i think they have a deal with some squash farmers...every damn day, squash is in some dish they fix. if i see another damn squash, im goin to scream!!!! i might just treat myself to a veggie sub on wheat with extra tomatoes and crushed peppers from subway....yummy. yo, i keep havin the illest dreams. i keep dreamin im famous. its almost the same dream every night. one night, i was accepting an award and i got a standing ovation. then, one night i was in a limo and people were chasin it and screamin my name. i have no idea what this re-occurring dream means. im going to have my own clothing line. im going to get my doctorate in criminal justice......i'ma be dr. cream. im going to have a bunch of books published. im going to write, direct, and produce a couple of movies. im going to own my own restaurant chain where they serve chitlins, jerk chicken, potato salad, jamaican beef patties, fried plantains, ox tails, veggie cuisine, and kool-aid. so, maybe one day i will be famous. who knows....im limitless.

easy conversation......i am so glad this school week is over...we're on "fall break". we only have a 3 day weekend. big friggin deal. i was hopin that i could go home with a friend of mine...but she was leavin at 4 and i had a midterm at 6:30. soooo, i had to stay here. im hella homesick right now. i need to be around my mama. i miss layin my head on her tummy and her rubbin my scalp until i fall asleep. im a big baby..... i know. i miss me and my mama layin across her bed talkin for hours. that's my first best friend, the second bein my brother. words can not describe the love i feel for my mother, brother, and neice. they are all i have in this world. i wouldnt think twice about layin down my life for them. aight, enough of the mushy shit, i talked to dawn yesterday online. everytime i talk to her, i learn something. dawn inspires me to dig deeper into my mind. that's what i value most about the times i have talked to her. i admire her mind so much. her poetry is off the hook. it's wonderful to read, but if you hear her read it......lawd. it's a priviledge. i was lookin at her pictures and when i talked to her i told her she has a beautiful neck. she laughed at me! yo, i have thing for necks. i thought about it for a minute and ive come to a conclusion why i think necks are so beautiful. aight, your neck connects your head to your body...duh. just think about it. your head sits on top of your neck. your head holds the most beautiful organ in your body, your brain. so, i think the neck is like a throne or a pedestal that holds your head, which holds your brain. so, i am very attracted to a woman with a nice neck, especially if it's holding up a head that contains a fully functioning brain. speakin of brains, mine is on idle. i think i did aight on my midterms. my criminal justice midterm was hard as hell. harder than i thought it would be. but, im built fo shit like this. but fo now, i'm finna study some francais. holla!!!!

thug changes...love changes.....it's funny how people change when they meet someone new. its like, their whole world consists of the new person and the people that were once important in their life, cease to exist. ive been guilty of that in the past but i know what it feels like to be one of the old people and not be paid attention to. no phone calls, no e-mails, not a damn thing. i try not to make any one person outside of my family, my central focus...thats just not healthy. there is enough cream to go around and i make sure everybody gets their one on one time with me. even if it is just to say what up, how you doin, how was your day? but, aint errbody like cream. i guess thats why i try not to get too close to people anymore. i dont want to build myself up for another failed relationship whether it be a girlfriend or a girl friend. so...i just do me. ive been in a deep mood for the past 2 days....just thinkin about what the world is comin to. when i talk to my grandma and she tells me stories of how it was when she was my age...i feel so funny, like she's talkin about another planet or something. leavin your door unlocked all the time?? movies for a dime?? takin a walk in dc at 3 am??? those things arent even fathomable now. i talked to her yesterday morning after the boy got shot at a middle school in maryland. honestly, it just reminds me of how much i am blessed to wake up to another day. all i think about is today, ill worry about tomorrow...god willing, i see it. in other news, me and honey have been talkin a lot more. last night, we stayed on the phone until 3:30 talking about what we want out of life and our goals. we have had some deep conversations in the past 2 days. my guard is always up, but she seems pretty cool. like i said, im takin everything for what it is....im just lettin things flow. school is gettin better...after i dropped that literature class, its been much easier. im really enjoying my islam class. its opened my mind so much. our professor is muslim and he prayed in front of the class to show us the things he has to do. hearing him recite the quran in arabic was beautiful. i felt this calm feelin come over me. that was just a beautiful experience for me. im gonna make it a must to take another religious studies class next semester. da kid is gettin sleepy....those late night conversations and my busy days are startin to catch up with me. thank you for comin out, god bless you, good night.

priorities 1-6.....the past couple of days have been down right shitty....shitty like broken sewer lines. i was pms'n like a muhhhfucka. i was catchin feelins when i needed to let them continue to fly and do what the fuck they were doin. to make the long story short, i shed a couple of tears, drank some coconut rum, and got over it. my outlook on most things at the present moment is fuck _______ (fill in the blank with whateva is unimportant, redundant, insignificant or anything or anybody that will not uplift my mind, body, and spirit) i cant change someone else's feelings or actions so fuck it. like i said before, im doin me. speakin of doin me, da kid is on a diet!!! i put on my black halter dress yesterday and said whoooaaa kemosabi. im gettin too thick in the wrong places. those cookouts over the summer caught up with me...it was them damn ribs...but they are sooooo yummy tho. anyway, da kid is goin to the gym 5 days a week for no less than an hour a day and no more ribs. im tryin to be more aware of what goes into my body in all aspects. whatever you put in it, is what you are goin to get out of it. im focused man. yo, ive been conversin with a lot of people lately. i have to be real careful who i let in my space. like my momma says, "keep ya grass low so you can see the rats." my grass has to stay low. i talked to this one chic this weekend named honey. she is 32, got shoulder length dreads......the convo is decent. she drives 18 wheelers...that gives new meanin to the big truck song. i got a feelin in my gut that tells me she's tryin to run game. game recognize game pahtna. i might be 21, but when it comes to playin games call me the lakers. like jigga said i will not lose. im just gonna take it for what it is......decent conversation. i havent talked to oshun much this weekend. the club opened so shes mad busy. i wish i was there but in a way im glad i'm not there...bein that i'm havin technical difficulties (code red) and i wouldnt be very much fun. my tylenol pm's are kickin in and im gettin sleepy....very sleepy. i'll holla!!!!!!!

i get a migranes, chest pains, heart strains, and tear stains....(cop dat floetry cd) damn poopy, it will be a year on thursday. it seems like an hour ago, you said hello and you took my heart away...to distant places and familar spaces...spaces that were discovered and explored but never dwelled upon...i neva knew love deep like caverns...deep like the pacific...deep like us....you filled my emptiness until i overflowed with love, with tears, with you...i'm in love with the way you part them wonder-full lips and speak...with that hennessy filled florida accent that tingles in my ear, strokes my soul, and gets me drunk from your words...words that penetrate every cell in my body...makin me feel majestic, magnificent, miraculous, and magmatic in just 5 words...i'm in love you.....everything from your cerebral hemispheres to your distal phalanges carved from ebony and that gap in between.....i dont give a fuck.(c) creambaby, inc. ya'll aint ready fo da kid!!!! that shit is copyrighted too fo all ya'll bitin ass bamas. it aint even finished tho. i'll finish it one day. that popped in my mind when i was in the shower (yeah, really) and i couldnt wait to get in my room so i could write this down. thursday would be me and poopy's 1 year anniversary. i dont know how i'm goin to feel that day so i'm writing now. we (me, oshun, latia, and balla) talked on the phone last night for about 2 hours. we tripped most of the time. oshun put the phone down so me and her could talk. that 10 minutes of convo was so damn deep. i got my mind stroked. not to put it all out there....that convo changed my outlook. anywhoo, school is still kickin my booty. i'm goin to go to drop my ethnic lit class tomorrow. i'm through!!!!! if you feel me holla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

slowly, surely.....this weekend has been off the hook. it's been raining all week and the sun finally came out on saturday. i met oshun's ex named 2G. we were all on 3 way for almost 6 hours. yoooo, i got my mind stroked. that is a beautiful thing. she is mad cool....i see why her and oshun clicked at one point in time. talkin to them made me think about my ex. me and oshun called her and we all talked for about an hour. that brings me to this....have you ever loved somebody so much that it put tears in your eyes just to think about them....but you have this deep dislike cuz you love them so much? everytime i talk to my ex, i get this feelin. i dont know how to describe it. it's like i still care for her but i want to drop kick her in her forehead at the same time. I'll always love her, nothing or no one can change that. but, i've come to the conclusion that i have to let her go. i have to get every trace of her out of my system. if we get back together, we do. if we don't, we don't. she's on some where i wanna be shit. i'm just gon do me. i'm not really lookin for someone, but maybe someone is lookin for me. i've been writing all weekend....mostly workin on my novel. that's my baby. god willing, i'll have it published one day. i got feedback on this weblog. thanx sexxxxxxyyyyyyy. i'm not sure how to get my feedback link workin so...if you feel me holla!!!!!!!!!

am i standin still?????.......today was aight, i guess. the fact that i only have $3 to my name just hit me. i need some money like a chickenhead needs a new weave. i'm built fo shit like this tho. da kid will be aight. yooo, why this chic that work in the cafeteria tried to holla. i gave her my number cuz she seemed pretty cool. seemed is the keyword. all she talked about was new york. new york this, new york that. well. if new york is sooo grand, why aint yo ass still there??? convo wasnt about shit.....lost mad points for that. then, she came on too strong for me. find out what's in my mind before you start talkin about comin and "chill" with me. i'm a grown ass woman, i know what the fuc chill means. more points down the toilet. to top it off, why this chic say "well, i can call the other chic that tried to talk to me and chill with her if you dont want to chill." *gettin heated* if it's like that, then why you all on my clit tryin to come and chill with me??? what the fuck eva.....you are dismissed. you are the weakest fuckin link!!! shit like that makes me want to kick a bitch in her throat. i'm still on my award tour lookin for da stud of my life. the search continues......

fuck the frail shit........i'm in a piss poor mood. i'm easily irritated.....everybody is pluckin my last good nerve. it's just one of them days i guess. ma woke me up early...it was cool cuz i didnt get to talk to her last night. i miss chillin wit my mommy. i cant wait to go home. i'll be gone til november, i'll be gone to novemberrrrrr. after i got off the phone with ma, tiff called and we talked for about 20 minutes. then, oshun called and we talked for an hour. that's my girl tho. it's rare to find real people like her. d called me when i was gettin ready to go to the football game. she seems mad cool but i got to be suspicious. i dont let just anybody in my space. anyway, i went to a football game today and i premiered my fro. i rocked khaki capris, a khaki and orange sleeveless shirt, big gold hoops, and orange flip-flops. girls were all on my tits. i pulled this chics card cuz she kept bumpin in to me. that may sound real petty but she could have at least said excuse me. i could have fallen from the bleacher i was standin on. i said "bitch, if you bump into me again, that's yo ass." she walked back down the aisle like she got her damn feelins hurt. that's mean.....i know. mean ass cream. oh well. i'm gon to sleep this mood off.......peace laaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

i'm on an award tour......... i need to be stroked. it's been many moons since someone has stroked me deep like caverns. i want to have an orgasm so deep, it puts tears in my eyes. i want you to stroke me so good, I scream your name. damn i want to be stroked. get ya minds out the gutta. i need my mind stroked. although, the stroking of any other part of my body will be welcomed after, only after you have stroked my mind. my intellectual convo drought is startin to bother me. i need someone to add to my mental. everybody wants to take knowledge but can't donate none. can a sista get some deep convo??? if someone can donate some deep convo....holla at me. anyways, i had an aight weekend. i washed my hair and instead of wrappin it like i normally do, i let it stay curly. yo, i have a tight ass fro. i'm gonna rock my fro when i go to the football game on friday. i cant wait until october 4th...i'm supposed to be goin to the nati to chill wit my big sister oshun. she is a co-founder of a new club in the nati called club-chica. october 4th is the grand openin. i want to go sooooooo bad. i need to be around a bunch of studs and femmes.....bein around straight people all the time gets borin. but i did see a stud on my way to class. wooooooo. i almost busted my ass lookin at her. she was about 5'7", brown skin, and a basketball player's body. she looked at me up and down and i looked at her......damn. oshun said i should have said "what up" to her. mannn, i was too shook. i need to get ova that shy shit. i'm a grown ass woman dog. the next time i see that wonderful speciwoman, i will make it point to holla. yeah, speciwoman dammit. how yuh love dat? i need to take my ass to bed. me and tiff didnt talk until about 3:30 this mornin. i was so sleepy when i went to work this mornin. so, i'm gone bed....holla at a plaayyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa.

Today was aight...I decided to create an online journal cuz i write everyday, so why not put what i write online. Anywhoo, here's a little background info. My name is Cream. No, my real name isn't Cream. Someone real close to me renamed me Cream. Why he chose Cream? Long story. Anyway, that's who I be. I was born a Capricorn with a Gemini moon. I am the oldest of 2 kids…I’m 21 and my brother is 19. My father might have some more kids that I don't know about. He was a pimp (not literally). We were both born in D.C. We moved to Virginia when I was about 8 years old. My childhood was hard. I wasn’t poor but I wasn’t middle class. My mother did the best she could. Sometimes, she would work 3 jobs to take care of my brother and I. My father had his own issues he was working out. I saw him a total of 5 times before I was 18. Regardless, I love them both. I’ve seen a lot and been through a lot. If I hadn’t gone through the things that I’ve been through, I might not be as strong as I am now. I look like my mother with my father's nose and charm. I have a caramel complexion. In the summer when I tan, I'm the color of red clay. I'm about 5'6" and I'm thick. Thick like cornbread...big titties, big ass, big legs. I carry it well. I have chin length brown hair (naturally) and brown eyes. I dye my hair all the time so the color varies. Right now it's light brown. I have about 20 beauty marks all over my body (I stopped counting after 20), including 2 on my face. I have a temper from hell. I pop mad shit and I'm not scccuuurrred to thro dem thangs.

I am:.

A woman. I don’t do the childish things most females my age do. I don’t take life too seriously but I don’t take it lightly either. I take care of me. My parents aren’t in the position to take care of me. Even if they were, I wouldn’t want them to. I'm independent like that. I am paying my way through school and hopefully I’ll graduate in about a year and a half. Right now, I’m thinking about going to law school.

A les. I don’t have anything against men. I wasn’t traumatized as a child. I wasn’t molested. I'm just attracted to women. I don’t consider myself femme or stud. I’m just me. Some days I want to thug it and wear a pair of big sweat pants and a big t-shirt. Some days I want to wear a cute sweater, a long denim skirt, and a pair of boots. It depends on my mood. If you ask anybody who knows me, they’ll all say I’m a femme.

Country as hell. I'm a country girl. I've got the accent to prove it. I say herr (here), therr (there), befah (before). I'm a southern gul. I know how to clean and cook chitlins. I can make biscuits from scratch.

An artist. I write every day. I’d go crazy if I couldn’t express myself through writing. I write almost anything. Right now, I’m working on my first novel. I like to paint and draw. I don't do it as nearly as often as I used to cuz I really don't have time. Hopefully, after I graduate I can find the time to paint and draw.

Thick like cornbread....big ass, big titties, big legs.