everytime i think we are getting ahead, something happens to yank my ass backwards. i slowly see myself backing away from u. i feel like i cant trust you. as much as i want to let this go, i cant. i just know that it cant keep going on like this. ive already taken so much. my will to fight for this is diminishing.

there is something about feeling like you are at your lowest point that always inspires something creative. i knew i needed to write when the tears didnt come anymore and my mind has come to the conclusion that there needs to be some change very soon. this past year ive done some things that i thought i would never do. have experienced some things i never imagined id experience. the important thing is, ive decided some changes need to be made before i self destruct.