geeked up.....ladies and gents....im fuuuuuucked up. im startin to see spaceships over roanoke. i went out with ms chay deezy and she got me drunk. nah, i cant blame her for this shit. she ordered almost the same thing i did. i drank a bong water for the first time *****that shit will have u fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up***** and then i drank a bahama mama. i am so fucked up yo. if a chic was here, i couldnt do shit but look at her and pass out. damn shame. i wanted to go out because i never do shit on my days off except stay in the fuggin house and read or get on my computer. i called chay and she was down for an outing so i got on my clothes with some 4 1/2 inch heels and left. yo, i shouldnt have worn those shoes. i was an inch away from bustin my ass. i could probably jog in those shoes sober but uhhh...drunk, hell no, i barely walk. shit, i thoroughly enjoyed myself. i saw some of my momma's friends at the bar. damn shame, they have known me since i was like 5 and they saw me drunk. damn shame. oh well, im a grown ass woman and i do what i want. as a warning yo, if i type some random shit, blame the liquor. next.....i was one of the 290324302 million people out shopping at 3 am yesterday morning. the things i let my sister talk me into. i didnt go to sleep until 9 am this morning. the original plan was to go to best buy but when we saw that line wrapped around the building 2 times, we turned around and went the other way. we walked around walmart and laughed at the people that were in line for a hdtv and come to find out, there were only 10 tvs but 150 people in line. ctfu...there were some angry white folks. i bought a couple of dvds that ill probably never watch. we went to the mall and i bought 3 sweaters on sale for 11.99 a piece. im always buying clothes...im turning into a clothes horse. when i get paid its going to be worse. anyway, i bought some smell goods at victoria's secret for my auntie. once i got my hit of liquid crack (caramel macchiatos from starbucks) and a chicken biscuit from chic-fil-a and i was ready for another round. that is until i came home and laid in my bed. when i started playing with my hair, it was a wrap. im functioning on 4 hours of sleep, plus im drunk. smh...the shit i get myself into. next....my thanksgiving was boring. i worked with a buncha whiney people. i wished i was at home sleeping in a turkey induced sleep. yo..did i mention im fucked up? ill probably read this shit tomorrow and say i typed too much but so fuckin what. i write what i want. i do what i want. in a minute.....peace and bong water.....prolific is finna pass out.

baaaaalliiiinnn.....ok ok ok....im here. ive been putting this post off because i havent been able to sit still long enough to write so this might be a lil long. well, it depends on how long i can sit here without doing something else. my attention span is becoming shorter and shorter. i need to work on that. anyway, grab a snack and get comfy in your chair because you just might be here for a while. where to begin....11/15/06, my momma's 50th birthday. i planned a little party for her. we all (my fam and her friends) ate at red lobster and had a balllll. we had a room to ourself and i know we were loud as crap. we had 2 waitresses and they earned every single dollar they got from tips. dealing with a bunch of tipsy,hungry, negroes isnt easy. i got a cake with her baby pic on it and got a hotel room with a jacuzzi just for her to get away for a day by herself. i set up the room with rose petals on the bed, special bath and body works bubble bath for the tub, a bottle of alize, a bottle of bacardi, and some snacks for the night. she cried a lil bit because she was so damn happy. i know how to organize a party...get on my level. lmao. me and friskins went to the indoor pool and whirlpool for a couple of hours after we dropped my mother off in her room. yo, that whirlpool felt so damn good yo. i want one in my house. friskins swam in the pool and took a buncha pics with my new camera. ill put them on my flickr later. next...christmas is coming up and i have no idea how im going to pay for all these friggin gifts. i have to start saving because i have a big project lined up. im not going to disclose the details yet. trust, its big tho. ive been having weird feelings yo. on one hand, i think...damn im single i can do what i want and have fun. then on the other hand im thinking, all this damn dating, talking to 109230902 people, and all that isnt me at all. right now, i love someone so much yo...so much that im willing to start the process of...commitment. anybody that knows me knows how hard it is for me to commit. i dont know what im going to do tomorrow or how im going to feel tomorrow. i would hate to hurt someone because i change my mind about being "taken". the next relationship i get into will definitely be a no label relationship. once you put a label on something, it changes it. it makes it have expectations and stuff. i want it to be whatever we have is what we have. things tend to work out smoother that way. no labels, just 2 people lovin each other and not worrying about whats going to happen in the future because as we all know, the future isnt promised. how can u truly enjoy life if you are constantly worrying or planning for the future? what happens when what you plan doesnt work the way you planned? fuck all that. lets enjoy the present. right now is all that matters. the past is gone and the future might not come. i guess all of my zen readings are starting to kick in. next...coonery is alive and going strong. i can not believe the amount of garbage on the radio now. if you want to hear good music ladies and gents, turn off the radio. ive been on psalm one as of late (peep her myspace, she is dope). please listen to something of substance that doesnt involve any poppin, snappin, perculatin, etc.. next....thanksgiving is tomorrow and im not looking forward to it. i really dont have an appetite. im not big on eating a whole lot of crap anymore. im tryin to cut out a lot of the garbage i eat. taco bell cant be good for me. im not eatin a lot, i am lookin forward to the alcohol. hehe. i cant indulge too much because as always, i have to work. thats ok tho. im earning 2 paid leave days and im off on friday. im not going shopping tho because as always, im broke. *sigh* aight, thats enough for now. i need to get back to work. in a minute....peace and mojitos....pro out.

rebel.....its been a long time because quite frankly, aint shit been going on. i go to work, i come home. true indeed, i see a lot of funny things happen everyday but i just dont feel like writing when i get home. that damn job drains me sometimes. i know its made me quite insensitive. hearing people's problems all day and hearing people bitch and moan and moan and bitch constantly, has made me slightly numb. shit happens. thats all i can say. a couple of weeks ago, i wasnt feelin too hot. for the first time in a while, i started to cry. that shit ended abruptly. ive realized that crying doesnt solve the situation. sure its a release, but if i do cry, i cry, get my shit together, and move on. life is entirely too short to be worrying about what somebody is doing or worrying about if they are playin you or some other silly bullshit like that. people are going to do what they are going to do regardless. why should i worry about it? is that going to help the situation if it happens? hell no. so, i say, fuck it. if you are with me, you are. if not, fuck your life and your existance....and im sooo sincerr about that. ive realized i can count the number of friends i have on one hand. i bet a couple of people are wondering if they are included. well, if you have to think about it, you probably arent. next...this past weekend i had so much fun yo. me, whit, and my sissy went to lynchburg which is about 45 minutes from where i live. i had to get the hell outta roanoke. this place was makin me wanna hitchhike outta here. anything to get away. lynchburg is smaller than roanoke (yes it can get smaller than the noke) but it was like a breath of fresh air. well, rewind that. we went to the mall before we left and i got a canon a630. yoooooooooo...its a beast. i finally can take pics of my sissy wearin her stunna glasses at night. (inside joke) my old camera was a piece of ish to say the least. after i got my new cam i promptly gave the old one to my niece. a 5 year old with a digital camera......smh. anyway, on the way to lynchburg we laughed so much. we are all some funny chics. we spend 3 hours in the mall. i came out with some smell goods from bath and body works, a baby blue chenille sweater(to match my baby blue heels), a chocolate chenille sweater, and a bunch of other clothes from lane bryant. i got a lil out of hand. shopping is my addiction. everybody has one and dammit.....if i could go shopping for a living, id be a happy chic. we ate at a japanese steakhouse and the food was awesome. i drank a weak ass zombie and ate some sushi too. on the way home we sang old ass jodeci songs. where are those dudes anyway? i havent talked to my best friend in almost a month. she is going through some things so i understand she needs her space but i miss you yo. artiste call me soon homie. aight, thats enough for now. ill holla. in a minute...peace and samadhi...pro out.