unexpressed....my hair is back red and my blog is back orange....back to basics. i have a comments block at the bottom. tell me whats on your mind. links are to your left...peep them. there is a lot on my mind so this might be a long post. i went to walmart today and i thought a lot while i was on the bus. that long trip gives me time to think. aight, first thought...my sexuality and my religious beliefs. me and artiste (congrats on the birth of your blog) were having a discussion about that yesterday. i dont think im going to be slidin down a gasoline rainbow into hell because i am a lesbian. damn i love that word..say it with me...les-bee-an. if the most high wrote my life out before i was even thought of, then everything, including me being a lesbian is in there. now, if im wrong, i will have to answer to the most high on judgement day....no one of flesh and blood can judge me. i do what i do and best believe...i do it very well. there is so much more to me than my sexuality. i know that i am a good person....the right that i have done is greater than the wrong i have done. next thought....i talked to my ex today and she told me that over the weekend she had sex with the girl she is talkin to. i cant help but feel some kind of way about that whole situation cuz i was in love with her at one point. i know that we both have moved on....just to think about her touchin someone else like she touched me makes my stomach turn. maybe she felt the same way when i told her that i had been intimate with someone else....cuz she told me she didnt want to hear it. with so many people wantin to talk to me and be with me....why am i even feelin anything about that situation? yo, i am so ready to be loved and to give love....i havent met anyone who is worthy of my love. i have a big heart and when i love someone, i love them with everything in me. so i gotta keep my guard up at all times....i dont want to feel the way i felt when me and my ex broke up. that was some painful shit. sometimes i wonder, does she actually understand how bad she hurt me? honestly, i dont think so...i think its beyond her. enough about her, i feel my mood changin. i took a psychology exam today...think i did aight. it was on affiliation, attachment, and love. i shoulda got an A on that bitch. 2 days and a wake up and ill be home. next thought...i know yall are tired of hearin about me goin home but dammit i need to go home. i need a break. i wish i could put my life on pause just so i could catch up on sleep. im so tired. tired of every damn thing..school, love, people, every damn thing. im just fuckin tired. hopefully, home will make me feel betta. i hope i dont see any of my damn dreaded male exes. i mean, they are aight, i just dont feel like bein bothered. im goin home to enjoy myself not to be asked 50 billion questions about me bein a lesbian (i had to say it again) or to be annoyed by them tellin me that they can change me. my ex asked me am i goin to jump his wood when i get home.*gettin heated* negro please. i only jump rubber and plastic. i dont get down with wood. what the fuck eva. i dont like dicks that spit and i only like dicks that are strapped to a woman. speakin of straps and women....i need some oochie. cot damn. i know.....tmi. i need some tho....i need my mind stroked as well....cant have one without the other. next thought...where are all the intellectual studs with their minds right at? does that type of stud exist? can i get one in my life please? pretty pwease. aight, enough for now. cream is done fo da nite. peace.