arrabbiato.....i feel the same way i felt last friday....lonely. its weird cuz i am lonely but i dont feel like bein bothered. everybody is on some other shit today....some shit that i am not tryin to get in. almost everybody i have talked to today has either irritated me or pissed me off. i am so damn anti-social right now. next....we are goin to see my fam in dc tomorrow...well, lata on....since its officially saturday. maybe this is a well deserved get away...maybe i need sometime away from everybody. if i had a car and some money, id be gone...somewhere to enjoy my own company. quick thought----why does "bitter" by meshell n'degeocello make me cry everytime i hear it? just a question i dont have the answer to. at this very moment....im feelin so many different emotions...all at the same time. i need to find the place where i dont feel used...taken advantage of...or just plain fucked up. i want to feel appreciated, loved, respected....and i dont feel that here. when i was younger, i wanted somebody to love and appreciate me. now that i am older, i know that the most important thing is to love and appreciate yourself. i have also learned that everybody has the need to feel loved and appreciated. home is where you are supposed to feel that and well.....like i said before, i dont have a home. cream is without a home. this is my mother's house....its brought to my attention almost everyday. i need a quiet place, just to give me a peace...of mind. i am ready to shut everybody out....just to keep my sanity cuz i feel it slipping away. my dreams that will soon be reality are what is keepin my head to the sky. miles is playing "basin street blues" and its makin my eyes heavy. im gone to dream the same dream i have dreamed for years......in a minute....peace.....cream out.