Reflections......So many thoughts running through my head at one time. Friends....how many of us have them? I am blessed that I have a friend that I can tell anything to at anytime of the day. I know your mate is supposed to be like your best friend but hell, who are you going to vent about them to? That's where my best friend comes in. Its strange...We've never met in person but I know I can trust her with my thoughts. That in itself is deep. I haven't met too many people in my lifetime that I actually trusted like I trust her. If we don't talk to each other for 2 weeks....Its cool because we both know that we have periods of time where we don't want to talk to anybody. True friendship is rare and I thank the most high I've experienced it. Artiste, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Thank you for being here for me. Next...self love. I think about it all the time....How many people really, truly, love themselves. I cant raise my hand. Sometimes, my actions don't reflect self love. I do soooo many things to effect my mental as well as my physical. If you love yourself, you don't do things to harm yourself. Knowing the dangers of smoking and you still smoke, you are intentionally harming yourself so does that reflect self love? If you give your body food that you know isn't good for you.....Do you really love yourself? I don't reflect self love in the least. After I got out of the shower, I stood in front of the HUGE mirror in front of the sink and came to a revelation.....I've been so busy loving other people that I forgot to love myself. I stared at myself for about 15 minutes....the dark circles around my eyes that I try so hard to cover up...I've bought bleaching cream to try to make them fade but of course they are still here. A doctor told me they come from my allergies. Why haven't I accepted them...looked at them as if they are just a part of me? My lips that for a long time I thought were too full. Lips that have been appreciated by may but not by me. The lips I bite when I'm thinking. I smiled at myself and saw the slight gap between my front teeth....and I wondered why I don't smile more than I do? Maybe because I think I need braces. I moved down to the girls....as big as they are they should be called the 2 grown womyn. I'm the only one in my immediate family that isn't bottom heavy. I'm top heavy with thick thighs and a lil booty. My tummy that I absolutely despise....its funny how I couldn't even stare at it for a minute before I got tears in my eyes. I remember when it was damn near flat and I screamed when I saw my first stretch mark on it. Now, its covered. I feel uncomfortable being naked around anybody. Before it got big, something happened to me that I rarely talk about and probably wont write about. Maybe its still here due to the fact that I haven't gotten over that incident. Maybe once I let it go...it will leave. From there I looked at my thighs which I think are too damn flabby right now but they are still sexy as hell...Down to my feet that are busted and in need of a pedicure ASAP. For as long as I can remember, I haven't liked the way I looked. There was always a complaint...nothing ever positive came outta my mouth regarding my appearance. I'm 25 years young and things haven't changed. I'm my worst critic and since everything starts in your mind...I tend to get my mind right. I plan to first, get my mind right....start dealing with issues that I have been afraid to deal with. I plan to be on this earth for a long time...I cant have my fears, stress, past issues effect my mind which in turn, will effect my body. I'm ready to live my life and finally fall in love with me. In a minute....peace and overstanding....prolific out.