queen me.........i have a fuggin cold. im fightin this shit with all my might. i dont know where the hell it came from but i wish it would go away. this shit sucks monkey’s balls. i have a snotty nose, a nasty cough, and headaches. praise the most high for aleve and nyquil tablets. next....my distain for my brother’s girlfriend has grown. dont get me wrong, she is an aight person but yo....she is the laziest chic. just because you have a job doesnt mean you can come home and lay around, eat, make messes, and sleep all damn day. fuck that shit. like i said before, they dont have maids in this bitch. today, she went to work for about 4 or 5 hours, came home, took a shower and changed clothes, and laid on the couch and slept for most of the day. that shit is not acceptable. fuck that. next...there is a little girl that lives down the street from us named mai. her mother doesnt keep her clean or her clothes clean. her hair is never combed. she is 3 years old and basically does what she wants to do. she runs up and down the street unattended. anyway, she comes over to play with my niece. now, my niece looks like a little prisspot all the time because my brother makes sure all of her clothes have matching shoes and accessories. she dresses like a little woman. mai came down here today with no shoes on. i asked her where her shoes were and she told me that she lost them. the shoes that i was referring to were a pair of imitation wallabies that are run down. i went into the house to see if i could find an old pair of my niece’s shoes because she has about 1232903980320 pairs of shoes. i find a pair of shoes and me and my niece walk to this house where mai was at. the damn house is a crack house. i want to drop kick her mother. anyway....i sat on the steps and put the shoes on her feet. mayn, mai was soooooo happy that she had a pair of shoes. she wanted to go with me and my niece but someone in that house was gonna do her hair so i told her she could come over later. well, later on i went to walmart and spent my last $2 on a pair of flip-flops for mai. there is no damn excuse why her mother cant buy her a pair of flip-flops and keep her clothes clean. none...whatsoever. its not like the bitch has a job. there i go gettin off topic again. i came home and put the flip-flops on mai’s feet and you woulda thought i had bought her some jordans. she said “they are sooooo pretty. now i can be pretty like her (she was pointing to my niece)”. that was my good deed for the day. i may be a mean ass at time but i have a good heart. next....i talked to ty again today. she told me that she and her girlfriend got into another physical fight. i keep tellin her and woo.....i wasnt fucked up enough for them. both of them like arguing and all that shit. im not the one for that shit. if ya want to argue and fight....im not the one for you. if i feel like i had to hit you to get my point across, we shouldnt be together. im leavin ya ass ASAP. i run from dysfunctional relationships like the plague. one was enough for me. ty told me that she still loves me. *LAUGHIN MY ASS OFF* that chic wouldnt know love if it punched her in the face and introduced itself. moving on.....there are 2 very different women wanting to be invited into my space. im not ready for a relationship right now. im takin this relationship thing a day at a time. ive been hurt too many times because i jumped into something that i shouldnt have known was gonna be fucked up. all the signs were there but i chose to ignore them. i let sweet words, good conversations, and a million empty promises cloud my vision. its gonna take a lot to woo me. its gonna take a lot to lock me down. i wont lower my standards for the sake of being in a relationship. fucka that. next....i havent talked to my good friend dubb in months. heffa is probably hibernating in her backyard. thank you for the cards lil daddy. now, call a chic. we have some work to do. *gettin out my corset, heels, short skirt, and berretta* next....i got my confirmation letter. basically, it says “yeah dammit, you really did graduate”. so, im all happy but i knew i graduated already. i feel sorry for those peeps that walked but really didnt graduate. well, im not one of them. now, i need a job. i applied for 2 social work positions but i need something now. i got things that i want, fuck that, i got shit that i need. im still focused on moving out this bitch. gettin my own apartment so i can walk around naked, burn nag champa incense, and have coltrane playing all day. damn, my brother’s girl gets on my nerves. *i had to say it again* next....my grandma is supposed to be gettin me cable internet. i know, i know.....im spoiled. i cant wait cuz this damn dial up shit is for the birds. i dont see how people do it. smh. when i get cable internet, ima change the layout. im tired of it being so damn dark. aight....im takin my ass to sleep. in a minute....peace and zakat.....cream out.