uhhh.....ok......at the present time, im at my lovely internship. there arent any trials this morning so im chillin in the office. i felt the sudden urge to spill my guts so...here i am. ive been vibing with a lot of people lately, all positive. its funny how when you are surrounded by or just interacting with positive people, it changes the way you see things. they have opened my eyes to quite a bit. that leads me back to my "confidence" issues. i am my worst critic, i know this for a fact. the reality is tho...if i dont believe i am greatness in all aspects of my life, who will? my confidence issues have hindered me from writing like i used to. nobody came out and said "cream, what you write is garbage." but i felt that way. im working on not comparing myself to others. staceyann chin is talented but she's not me and im not her. that applies to all the writers that i admire. i pulled out a notebook and started writing again. slowly but surely, im steppin my game up. next....my phone hasnt been ringing like it used to. am i upset about it? hell no. most of the time, its someone calling me to vent or talk about some ish that i dont want to hear anyway. i shoulda charge $59.95 for each session. id have money to buy these petit peton boots i want. the only person that calls me to vent now is my grandma and she is excused. she needs to vent and to hear my opinion of the situation...cuz "cream is the only one that has some damn sense". *blushin* i love my grandma. thats my heart. anyway, im glad certain people, namely my exes, havent been calling me. we're cool but i feel that there is some distance needed. they are a part of my past and they need to stay there. maybe one day, ill be able to talk to them without feeling any ill feelings but right now....i wouldnt mind tellin them all to take the express train to hell. mean ass cream...yeah yeah, i know. next....ive been tired as hell lately. there arent enough hours in the day for me to do what the hell i need to do. it seems like im constantly doing something other than what i need to do for myself. i dont have time to rest...4 hours of sleep a night is a blessing. insomnia is no joke boys and girls. just to be easy for a day would probably do wonders. since i have monday off...that will be my "be easy day". im gonna sleep late and only do things that benefit me. its all about me, me, me, me, me. anyway, im going to find something to do. in a minute....peace and selfishness....cream out.