seconds of pleasure.....i admit, ima sensitive mofo. i come off as mean and cold but under the mean mug and the "fuck you and the pussy you came from" attitude, lives a sensitive chic. only certain people can really hurt my feelings and one of those people did. they dont know they did, but trust and believe, i havent forgotten anything that they said or did the last time i saw them. which brings me to the conclusion i need to check my confidence. my un-belief in my self has hindered me from doing soooo much. i thought i wasnt good enough. i though i wasnt pretty enough. i thought i wasnt smart enough. when in reality, i could have succeeded in those things, i just didnt put forth the effort out of fear and lack of confidence. i have sooo many things i want to do in my life and i need to take care of that confidence issue ASAP. the person that hurt me didnt do it on purpose...maybe i needed that to happen to make me realize the issue. maybe one day ill put aside my ego and tell them that they hurt me....maybe. next...ive been thinking about sex soooo much today. im turning into a little hornball. listenin to van hunt isnt making it any better. there is so much i havent done that i want to do. i want to make love in the country while its raining...the rain washing the red mud from our bodies. there are other things besides that but ill keep them to myself. i dont want to expose the freak that i am...lol. it all boils down to, i want to be made love to. i miss the intimacy of a relationship...i miss being touch by hands other than my own. i admit, its nice to sleep by myself, but sometimes i miss having to share the cover. i miss all the little things about a relationship that most people take for granted. one day it will happen....in due time. next...i went to the gym today and my legs are sooooo sore. they are tight from all the walking that ive been doing and that damn elliptical machine. ill be where i need to be, physically, in due time. the mental thing is gonna take a minute. aight homegirls and homeboys, i need to study. in a minute....peace and loving my damn self....cream out.