trickery......home is cool so far. 2 hours after i got here, i voiced my distain for my mother’s “friend”. i mean, everybody knows that i dont care for his presence. so far, its been cool, like i said. no arguments, no drama, no issues.....so far. i got a job that i plan on working for a little while. we’ll see how it goes. today i went christmas shopping with my mother. the mall was crazy. kids running around screaming and crying because they couldnt get the toys that mommy said santa claus would get them for christmas this year. damn shame. why pretend that a fat white man is going to bring your children everything that they ask for? isnt that lying to them in more ways than 1? first, you are telling them that a fat white man is going to come on a sled from the damn north pole and bring everybody, everything they want. what do you say to the child with no presents under the tree because momma had to pay the rent and couldnt buy that new remote control escalade? the idea is, if you are good all year, santa claus will bring you everything you want for christmas. basically, your good behavior will be rewarded. thats not always true. just because you are a “good” person, doesnt always mean that you will be rewarded with something you can hold in your hands. i thought a lot about that while i was walking through the mall. there were plenty of christmases where i didnt get anything. i was lucky to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. im determined not to expose my child to that but at the same time, they wont believe that whole “santa claus” thing.....”if you are a good boy or girl, santa will bring you gifts.” how bout hell no. its all about momma claus. every christmas i say this....big ups to all the momma clauses out there...the women who work double shifts and go in on their days off just so their kids can have a nice christmas. big up to the daddy clauses too....i just know a lot of momma clauses personally. next....my love life is damn near non-existant. i talk to a couple of people, just on a friendship level but i dont see any of them as prospects. maybe its because im not really looking. all im doing is enjoying myself...doing me. i talked to ex #4 today and she literally made me wanna puke. the sound of her voice turns my stomach like dog shit. the smell of fresh dog shit in 90 degree weather= ex #4’s voice. i know, i know...that was mean but so what. thats how i feel. i think another reason why my love life is the way it is, is because im picky as hell plus im easily irritated. im attracted to little things like the structure of a woman’s neck, her laugh, the shape of her eyes, her ability to have a real conversation....mayn, i could go on and on. ive yet to find someone with most of the characteristics that im looking for. i know im not the queen of universe but i know that i dont deserve anything less than greatness. aight....these pancakes i just ate are making me sleepy. ill holla lata. in a minute.....peace and buttery syrup.....cream out.