cram to overstand.......right now im in the library studying for my criminal law final. ill admit that im afraid. i always tend to doubt my ability...question if im really as intelligent as i believe i am. i know that i havent fully applied myself in college and that was down right stupid because im payin for this shit. i know i could have done much better than i have done so far. the fact is, i cant change it now. whats done is done and i have to keep looking forward. last night, i prayed to the most high like i always do unless i accidently fall asleep first and when i wake up, i feel so guilty. anyway, ive been praying the same prayer at night since i was 12 years old. occasionally ill add a little to it, but usually, its the same. people tend to think just because i am the woman i am that i dont get down with the most high. i know i curse like a sailor and sometimes i tend to say some mean things, but i believe in my heart that He/She is the ONLY being that knows my destiny, my intentions, my heart, and will love me unconditionally. last night i was talking to a friend of mine and the subject of religion and homosexuality came up. thats not a subject i usually talk about mainly because...my relationship with the most high is my business. most people and i have a mutual understanding.....if you preach to me, i most definitely will ignore you and most likely not talk to you anymore. let me do me....im responsible for me, not you. lemme 'lone. next...one of my exes called me this weekend to tell me about some drama that she was going through. now, i admit, usually i would have felt great that karma took a chunk out of her ass but when she told me, i felt kinda bad for her. just a smidgin....nothing too serious. when she called i knew something was wrong because of her voice. ive known her for almost 2 years and trust, i know her like the back of my hand. i know that deep down, she's hurt about everything thats going on with her. i also know that it took a lot for her to call me and ask me for help. it must suck to call the one you know you hurt to ask for help. i really dont know because....ive never been the one who inflicted hurt, ive always been the one who was hurt. but like i always say...karma is an evil, cold hearted, bitch and she'll bite ya in the ass one day. next....along with my quest of peace and serenity, i have decided to cut some more people off. someone told me that im anti-social, which is sorta, kinda, true. i dont like being around a lot of people because people irritate the hell out of me. even i get on my own nerves occasionally. i have decided communicate with a select few....yall know who you are. the people that bring nothing but positivity into my day and smiles to my face. i know sometimes i may act like a doody head but all of yall know that i truly respect and appreciate the friendship we have. i luh yall...*hugs, kisses, and a booty squeeze* ok peoples....its time to take my law exam. pray for me. in a minute.....peace and a clear mind.....cream out.