hot pearl c……I have so much on my mind…this might be a long post so get a snack and something to sip on. A lot of things have triggered deep thought today. First, my job. Yo, I work for peanuts. I work my ass off and I can’t do anything I need to do with the money I make….its not even putting a dent in my list of needs. Like I said before, I wont have work study next year. I am trying not to be stressed but I cant help but be. I was planning on getting a job anyway but that’s not the point. Now it’s mandatory…I cant survive without one. I know I cant think about what other people have or what they do….cuz its not going to change shit but its just so fucked up that I have no help whatsoever. I have helped soooo many people my whole life and what have I gotten for it? Not a damn thing. I have sacrificed for others and I have not gotten anything out of it. Sometimes not even a thank you. Now where are ya’ll when I need ya’ll? ****Silence**** That’s what I thought. I’ve made it by myself thus far, shit ain’t changing now. Next, I had a conversation with Dawn when I came home from work. She told me something that really stuck with me…..she said “Do what makes you happy. Go where you want to go. Don’t live for someone else….live your life for you. ” Writing is my passion….I live, I breathe…..I even eat words. This criminal justice thing….is what it is. Don’t get me wrong, I like criminal justice. I just don’t believe that it is my calling. It’s my hustle. My talent is writing. Writing is what I like to do. I am going to work at this writing thing so I can pimp my words. I know that is my gift and I am going to give it my all….it’s time I master my craft. Dawn is my buddy and an inspiration. She’s that little voice of encouragement that I need. Third, my sides have been hurting all day. Every time I breathe, it hurts. I need a bubble bath, a deep tissue massage, and a cup of hot chocolate (yeah, I know its summer but if I turn on the AC you cant tell). I started writing a poem today about myself. It felt weird writing about myself but the shit just flowed. It starts out “I am the result of loneliness and vulnerability”. I was flowing until I had to start making breakfast at work….grrrrrrrr. Tired of being interrupted…my thoughts left unexpressed. Even though I have all this crap on my mind, I am anxious to go back to school. I need to be in an environment where I can flex my mental muscles. Plus, school is where I can truly be free….its my comfort zone. Enough writing for now, I need to go to bed. Peace and passion….cream out.