i wonder.....if she knows how inferior i feel around her. she is beautiful. sure, she has her flaws but over all she is beautiful. i know i have the degree, i have the good job, but i dont have happiness. i dont have serenity. i dont have an ounce of esteem. i wonder if they know how much pain i have felt in the past year. so many changes. so many issues. sometimes i just want to say fuck it all and move to wyoming or montana...live in the boonies where i dont know anyone and no one knows me. somewhere i can sit and write or paint and be myself. i wonder if this build up of tears that i havent shed will hurt once they start flowing. cant hurt more than my heart right now. i wonder how many people would notice if i took a break. lets see. in a minute....maybe 5....peace and kleenex....prolific out.