Tuesday, September 20, 2005

slingblade......ive been feelin hella anti-social for the past week. i havent felt like being around anybody. i havent felt like talking. i just want to be.....at peace, enjoying my own company. my fam has been gettin on my nerves too. i have closed myself in my room after i get home from work for the past 2 weeks. me and my sister arent gettin along right now.....mainly because she acts differently around her friend. i know it has a lot to do with the fact that im 24 and she and her friend are under 20. not saying that everyone under 20 is immature....but her and her friend are the perfect examples of immaturity. walking around the mall lookin at shit when you dont have any money isnt cute to me. riding around looking for dudes to give my number to isnt cute either. they actually stress when their phones arent ringing. smh. they giggle and geek like 10 year olds. it irritates the hell outta me. my mom has been walking around the house with an attitude. i dont know if she is pms'n or what but i wish she would get over it....whateva it may be. my brother and his girlfriend do the usual things to get on my nerves. its weird tho....they havent got on my nerves as much as they usually do. maybe its because the irritation has been induced by other people besides them. dora was here about a week ago. its like a breath of fresh air in a stank room when she comes here. she nurtures me....which im not used to. ive never had someone that opens doors for me, rubs my feet, washes my hair, cleans my room while im at work.....*sigh* someone that gives just as much as she receives. that means so much to me. like i said, its different than what im used to. today we got in our first real argument. we have had some heated discussions but never to the point where i wanted to scream at her.....and im not one to argue. we are ok now but it opened my eyes to the fact that i have trust issues. well, i knew that all along but i thought i was better than what i was. when i said i would commit to her, i didnt say that i was perfect or that i had everything together. i admit that i have some issues....nothing major tho. she knows about some things....some things she doesnt. ill let her know in due time. maybe i should get around to telling her some things so she will understand why i react the way i do to certain situations. next....my job still sucks herpes infected monkey's balls. im prayin that i get the job with the police station. i want to tell this bank to kiss my entire yella ass. nobody knows whats going on....a bunch of people runnin around thinking they know every damn thing but really dont know shit. plus, their policies are stupid as hell....i feel like im in elementary school. aight i feel like im rambling....ill holla. in a minute....peace and mustard biscuits.....cream out.

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