the people's champ......well hellerrrr....its been a long time and yo....the break was needed. before i begin my rants, i created a new forum. the other host was all screwed up so i decided to change hosts and start from scratch. my forum is open to anyone with an open mind and intelligence....so, join and post up. anywhoo, my spring break was aight. i chilled with my niece a lot. to see her runnin out of my brother's car screamin "AUNTIEEEEEEEEEE" was the highlight of my trip. its amazing how children love unconditionally......they love you beyond the bullshit. i want to protect her from all the evils of the world but i know i cant. im just going to make sure that she has a better childhood than i had and feed her brain as much as possible. she wants to know about everything. i was laying on the couch and she was sittin on my back playing with my fro while i was reading "the little red hen" to her. she told me that she wants to go to school so she can be smart like me. lmao. i promised her that i would teach her everything i know, plus pay for her to go to school like me when she gets older. the child is so damn intelligent yo. she's started writing the alphabet and she is only 3. i refuse to let her mother's chickenhead, project, hoodrat mentality rub off on her. i know that sounds cold but yo...its the truth. my niece has 4 cousins on her mother's side and they are all bi-racial. she told me that they told her she was ugly because she has "nappy" hair. she went on to tell me that her mother said if she called my mother "momma" that her mother would get one of her cousins and my niece wouldnt be her baby anymore. yall...i flipped the fuck out. first of all, i know i cant blame the children for what they said. they are all under 8 years old so that opinion of "nappy hair is bad" has been put in their heads. BUT...its up to my niece's mother to correct that shit. i refuse to let my niece believe that she is inferior just because she doesnt have straight, european hair. fuck that. i sat down with her and told her that her hair is beautiful and so is she. me having natural hair myself helped a lot. she always is messing with my hair and tellin me how pretty it is. well, her hair is the same texture as mine. i told her to tell her cousins to kick rocks. as far as the comment that her mother made about calling my mother "momma".....smh. a dog gives birth but that doesnt make her a momma. she stood in front of me when she was 8 months pregnant talking about how she didnt want to have a baby and she wanted to get an abortion. she is an immature, inane, extraneous, and in the words of my buddy alia, a ho ass smitch. fuck her and her life....my niece would be better off without her. she is the prime example of a deadbeat mother. enough about that, me and my fam had a lot of fun. i love my fam and i know they love me. i went to see my brother's best friend in jail and i had tears in my eyes. i never thought that i would see him on the other side of that glass. i never thought that he would do the things he did. he and my brother have been friends since they were in the 1st grade. i remember that boy was over our house all the time and always had a damn basketball in his hands. i thought he end up being an pro athlete because his game was tight as hell. i dont know where shit went wrong. the situation is sorta like my ex's situation. they both had the potential to be great athletes and productive people but something went wrong. they both got caught up in "the fast life", as old people say. anyway, i was telling him what he needed to do as far as his lawyer and all that...all the while, tryin not to cry (i'ma sensitive mofo). my mother said that he wrote me a letter so this weekend i have to write him back. in the letter, he said that my family is the only family that he has ever known and we've done more for him than his blood relatives. smh. looking in his eyes when i went to visit him showed me that shit isnt good with him. his mouth says one thing but his eyes say something totally different. he's like my little brother and i want to make sure that he doesnt hurt himself while he is locked up. next....my view of this whole life thing has changed slightly. im a lot less uptight than i used to be. no need in gettin stressed about things that you cant change. im here to enjoy myself. of course ill experience pain, but it wont be because im purposely puttin myself in that position. meaning, if something makes me unhappy, then im out. im all for my own happiness right now. i dont have time to be all sad and shit. i have a life to live. the most high put me here for a reason and i refuse to waste this opportunity called life. speaking of the most high, i went to church while i was home. *GASP* lmao. i know...i dont seem like the type to go but for some reason, i went. the sermon was something that i needed to hear. "exceeding expectations"....there are some people in life that expect you to fail, they want you to fail. with faith in the most high and the same amount of effort, you can exceed expectations. thats the cliff notes version. anyway, this entry is rather lengthy so ima end it now. in a minute....peace and love....cream out.