its me again
blastin: bran nubian- love me or leave me alone
my last post was crazy as hell....i know. i was angry but now im over it, somewhat. i have a lot on my plate...i graduate next week. its scary as hell. its come so fast. i havent had time to catch my breath. i always remember saying that i couldnt wait until i graduated but i never thought about what i would do after...well i guess i did....i had big dreams of being a DEA agent and then a lawyer and saving the world. lol. now, i just want a career in the criminal justice system, graduate from law school before im 30, and not live from paycheck to paycheck. graduating will give me a little bit more time to work on my writing. i am going to publish a couple of books. today, i went to the donning of the kente cloth ceremony. its a celebration for black graduates. mayn, i almost cried, i admit it. they called my name and as i was walking up to get my cloth and my award, it was like i was moving in slow motion. all i could think about was the time when i though id never go to college and all the people who told me that i wouldnt amount to shit. here i am graduating...muhfuckas. next....ive been hella anti-social for the past week. im PMS'n and i flipped on several people, ignored a couple more. next...i decided to call inayah today and to say the least, i got a bit pissed. she used to call me everyday, not that i expected her to, she just did. when she called, most of the time, i was either sleep, in class, or in court. i hadnt talked to her in about a week so i decided to call her. we didnt argue but there was tension there. there is no doubt that things have changed between us. maybe its my fault for being nonchalant about the situation. most of the time, im nonchalant about ANY situation. i mean, she is cool and before today, she had potential to be my woman...eventually. i have yet to meet a woman that makes me want to be in a relationship with her ASAP. like i said before, im not looking but im not blind either. im lettin things flow....everything in its time. i dont know if inayah and i will continue to be friends or if this will be the last conversation we ever have. either way, i learned from her and i hope she learned from me. now, on to india. we havent been talking as much as we used to. we both have a lot on our minds. it bothered me for a little while but like i always say....india is herself. ive met someone that is as moody and distant as i am at times. the only thing that bothers me is that i dont know what her intentions are. what the fuck does she want from me?? i cant ask her that because i dont know what i want from her. *sigh* anyway, im gonna go get some food and take a nap. in a minute......peace and power naps.....cream out