rain on meeeee......i got tired of the other layout. i saw a picture of the beautiful young lady named mona and it inspired me to do a new layout. i didnt want anything but her head on my page....dont get me wrong, her body is beautiful as well, but her face is what got her on my page. sooo, miss mona, if you ever read this, just know that i think you are a beautiful womyn and i hope that you are very successful in your modeling career. next...i called my father on my new cell phone when i was on my way to walmart. my brother turned 21 yesterday and i wanted to know why he didnt call....so i called him to get some answers. i dont know why i expected that this birthday would be any different from the 20 before it. to make the long story short, he said i always call him to browbeat over some bullshit. when i talk to him, i tell him how i feel...my feelings about him...and he called my feelings bullshit like i dont have a right to feel the way i do. i said "fuck you" and hung up. i almost cried....almost. i called my mother and we talked about the whole situation. everyday, for the rest of his life, he will pay for not doing right by his children. im going to let the most high take care of it and im going to live my life completely without him. he will never hear my voice or see my face ever again...my word is blood. next....i am still job hunting. all i know is i need to hurry up and find one because my money is getting shorter and shorter. i have things that i need to buy for myself....plus, i have to buy christmas presents. i talked to a friend of mine that used to work at this place that i have been looking at...she said she wishes she still worked there. after the convo....i am definately going to call and see whats up. next...its been almost 3 months since i have seen my womyn. im missin her like crazy....woo woo woo. hopefully, i will get to see her soon. i miss the way she touches me. i miss sharing a bed with her. i miss her holding me real close to her and her drooling when she sleeps on my boobies. i miss waking up in the middle of the night and eating junk food with her. damn, i miss her....especially at night. nights are the loneliest time of the day for me. anyway.... im going to listen to some coltrane and try to go to sleep. keyword:try. i havent been doing much sleeping lately. in a minute....peace...cream out.