black & mild.....im sittin here, listenin to tweet, smoking a black (my first time and its not as bad as i thought...its quite relaxing), thinking before i have to go to my meeting with my french professor. i have reached the lowest point in my life and right now it appears that it is my highest point. its only an illusion. i finally got a job. im still in school when most of my fam told me that i wouldnt last a semester. im just going through some things that i really need to work out ASAP because i believe that they will contribute to my downfall. i know i am not the only one stressed out...most of my friends are stressed as well and usually i am the one that they talk to when things are going good. i cant be there for them until i take care of myself. a lot of the problems that i have as far as my fam is concerned, could have been prevented if i put myself first. next...i have totally slacked up on my writing. i have read some the pieces i have wrote in the past and compared them to the pieces now....they arent on the same level. writing is kinda like working out. if you slack off...you lose strength and endurance. i used to write all the time, about anything, for hours...now, i sit with my pen in my hand and stare at the paper. writing is what keeps me sane....not saying that i am not sane now...im just not at as at peace as i was when i was writing everyday. next....im in love...im sure yall already know that. being in a long distance relationship is stressful especially if you dont know when you are going to see your mate again. im in that position plus i am working so that doesnt leave much time on the phone....she has a job and kids, so by the time i get home from work, she is in the bed sleep. i have been kinda mean lately because im going through so much. there are a lot of things i havent told her and i have expected her to understand how i feel but how can i, if she doesnt know whats wrong? we really need to sit down and have a talk about the whole situation...but when? i need to see her....soon. next...i am starting another blog in addition to this one. its going to be focused on my work (written as well as visual). it should be up soon...i have to work on a layout. well...i need to go talk to my professor. *puttin my black out* in a minute....peace....cream out.