ri-gotdamn-diculous......i talked to woo this morning and she made me promise to make a doctors appointment at student health. i hate that place...the most high only knows....but i dont have any insurance and thats the only medical care i have right now..so, i gotta do what i gotta do. suck it up and go. for her, ill go. after i talked to her, my mom called me. i told her what was wrong...how i wake up every hour at night because i am either thirsty or sweatin like i am sleepin in the desert or because i have to pee....or all of them. this has been going on for about a month.....i havent told anybody cuz i didnt want to hear "cream..you need to go to the doctor." ill go when i damn well please. dont tell me what to do...i run this and you are not the damn boss of me. *soundin kinda like a control freak huh?* anyway, while i was talkin to my mom, my grandma beeped in. my mom put us on 3-way. i HATE bein on 3-way with them!!!! they play the "who knows more about cream" or "who knows whats best for cream" game. it kills me yo. my mom told my grandma the bizness.....why in the hell did she do that?? my grandma was yellin "cream...you got a bladder infection!!!!" how in the hell do you get that i have a bladder infection from whats goin on with me??? i just said "yes ma'am, ill make an appointment." lawd...then, my grandma hung up. so, i told my mother how scared i am. she said "why you actin like you gonna die or something? its just diabetes, damn." aight...if she wasnt my mother....i woulda flipped on her. shes my mother so i respect what she says but how is she gonna tell me i shouldnt be scared. i dont have anything wrong with my body that i know of and now there is a chance that something is wrong...thats some scary shit to me. i knew i shouldnt have said shit to her about it....but nooooo, i had to open my big mouth. now, my grandma is callin me every 2 hours to see if i made the appointment and if i am drinking cranberry juice, which i drink everyday by the way. im feelin some kind of way toward my mother cuz she doesnt understand how i feel yo. she makes it seem like me bein a diabetic aint shit. well...do i have to get re-occurring gonorreaherpesyphamidia and damn near die for her to give me some encouragment.....for her to say "baby, its gonna be ok." really, thats all i wanted. i just wanted my momma to tell me i was goin to be aight. she acts like me bein sick is no big deal....and really...it isnt a big deal...i mean, there are millions of diabetics in this world, but to have most of your family be diabetic and have to take insulin and 2 of them need kidneys because of their diabetes.....is a big deal to me. to have a doctor tell me i am a diabetic is one of my biggest fears and for her to say that my fear basically, aint shit, hurt me. well, it aint the first time and it damn sho wont be the last. i gotta go to work. cream out.