poo revisited.......i believe this cloud over me is startin to move. its not completely gone but it is gettin there. i have been feelin a whole lot. when i say feelin i mean my emotions have been quite sensitive. i havent felt like this in a while.....the last time was when me and tia broke up. i dont feel any pain.....well, yes i do....i feel....more conscious....more aware of myself and more aware of my feelings towards a lot of issues as well as my feelings for people. operation poo is still in effect. i did not fathom that this process would be so long and would trigger my emotions like this. im thinkin about stuff that happened to me when i was younger that i thought i was over. keyword: thought. some big stuff....some little stuff. i have been walkin to class and all of a sudden and i will see something or hear something that will trigger a memory. or i could be talkin to woo and she asks me a question about my past that triggers a memory. its like all of a sudden, stuff that i thought i forgot, is comin back to me. stuff that i pushed in the back of my mind is comin front and center of my head. next...last night, artiste FINALLY showed me her work and i must say that she is soooo damn talented. i want to buy some of her work but i dont think shes goin to come off of anything...especially that bob marley sketch. when i am rich and famous, her work will be on all of my books, in my restaurants, on my clothes...every damn where. one day, i hope she draws me....blind contour (new art term for cream). blind contour means drawing without lookin at what you are drawing. cool huh? then...i will know how she sees me in her mind. next...i have been having a hard time writing. its not writers block...its me blockin my gift. its my fault...i have been comparin myself to other writers and as a result, i have limited myself as a writer and an artist. there are soooo many half written poems that i have thrown away because i felt that they werent good enough. yo, when i read audre lorde or staceyann chin, i am moved. i started comparing my work with theirs and as a result, i havent felt too hot about what i write lately. i have realized that this thing called writing is not about competition, its all about expressing yourself and people express their thoughts in different ways. a beautiful poem is in the eyes of the reader. i may think a poem is wack that another person may think is hot or vice versa. so, all i am tryin to do is express myself and write from my soul. be the best i can be doin me. peace....cream out.