underneath it all.....da kid is sick again. dammit....i knew i shouldnt have slept with my window open when it was 20 degrees outside. now, i sound like weezie jefferson when i wake up in the mornin....i know my baby be like dayyyyuuummmm. im so friggin tired of the winter....when it gets hot ill be in a pissy mood after about a month. da kid likes it about 60-80 degrees. anything below or above that....makes me grumpy. like when its 90 degrees....peeps dont see me until the sun goes down....and they might not see me then. next...my mom called me and told me that my cousin got robbed at gun point on his way home from school. he wasnt hurt...all they got is $20...yada yada yada. i mean, im glad he is ok....but there is a bigger issue there. well, he is 16 years old and has always been feminine. his mother, aunts, and grandmother used to dress him, let him play in their clothes, and let him stay under women all the time. everybody thinks he's gay but dammit i know the boy is gay. my gaydar went off the last time i saw him. *whoop whoop* he has more twist in his ass than i do. anywhoo, they act like they dont see it....they dont talk about it. they mask the whole situation. maybe they think if they dont talk about it or act like its not there....itll go away. well, what the fuck eva. i asked my mom....why was he walking home from school? why wasnt his ass on the bus? he doesnt ride the bus anymore because the kids pick on him and call him every derogatory name ever invented for gay men. so, he walks home from school. i feel sorry for him yo. i do. i believe that it is much harder being a homosexual male than being a homosexual female. he's been beat up, picked on, harassed...all because of his sexuality. his fam is not supportive at all....i know the minute he comes out...he'll be disowned. my fam is like that. so that brings the spotlight on da kid. im not out completely in some people's opinions. *like i really give a damn* i told everyone who i wanted to know....my mom, my brother, cream, and a few other peeps. my sexuality is not a secret....i wouldnt deny it if someone asked me...i would probably say "what the fuck you want to know for...nosey muhhhfucka? that is under the file titled NONE OF YA GOTDAMN BIZNESS....DAMMIT" i dont feel like its everybody's business. nor do i feel like i should broadcast it either. ATTENTION...I AM A LESBIAN. SO THE FUCK WHAT!!!! who gives a damn yo. i mean, really. yo, i dont give a single solitary fuck about someone's sexual preference....i have too much shit on my mind to be worried about if jim is fuckin tom or if jane is fuckin susie or if they are all fuckin each other. fo realla. there is sooooo much more to me as a person than my sexuality. i am a lesbian...but it does not and will not define me as a whole. *gettin off my soapbox* next...spring break. i need a friggin break. im meetin my booboo head for the first time. im nervous as hell. on a scale from 1-10, im nervous about a 8. contrary to popular belief, i am shy and quiet. im that red head girl that sits all the way in the back of the class, the girl sittin at the bus stop with a pen and a composition book writing, the girl that hums billie holiday one minute and raps with project pat the next, that girl that is thick like country gravy that you cant help but pause...and then stare cuz she rocks it so damn well....im that chic that you pass everyday....that you probably wouldnt even notice if it wasnt for that damn red hair and that ice grill like *muhfucka if you come at me wrong...i will fuck you up* im like a cheetah....i will lay down and chill, you might not even notice me...but approach me right and stroke me (my mentals...get ya minds out the gutta dammit)......ill be loyal til the end. but come at me wrong....and ill flip on ya ass. aight....now that i have had my conceited moment.....im gone to get some orange juice and some cough drops so i can stop soundin like weezie jefferson. lataaaaaaaaaa.