days like this....i need a candle lit bubble bath and some honey soap with some billie holiday playin and someone there to wash my back and rub me down with shea butter before i go to bed. today was ok...class was cancelled so no juvy justice for me. i went to the gym...day #2....felt good as sex after a long drought. im tryin my hardest to keep with this gym thing....cant slack off. cant let my focus change. i have grown so much in the past month. im determined to keep this at peace feeling a part of my life forever.....of course, sometimes i get emotional. sometimes i get real salty. sometimes....i scream. ive been startin to peel away layers of shit and ive discovered that if you let shit pile up and you dont clean it up.....you will have a big shitty, stinky, nasty ass mess that will take a long time to clean up. im in the process of cleanin all my shit up. i call it operation poo. next....my brother got a new car. im happy for him...now he can find a permanent job. ive been feelin kinda funny about my fam lately. i guess that is another situation that i need to step back from. i would give my all for my fam and i expect that they would do the same for me. lately, ive been feelin like i am being taken for granted tho. been feelin like i dont matter in their lives. i felt like this when i first came to college and had been feelin like that for some years before. this time, im not going to let it break me. ayyyyy support this. that means all pepsi stuff...mountain dew, lipton iced tea, slice, fruit works, dr pepper, aquafina, sierra mist, and mugs root bear. plus kfc, pizza hut, taco bell, and red lobster. todays lesson: when whoeva said money is the root of all evil....he/she was tellin the damn truth. money changes everything. blood or water becomes irrelevant when it comes to green. goin to bed.....lata.