play...pause...eject...now she sleeps with the fishes......last night, reality stood up, walked over to me, and slapped me. i hate to keep talkin about the same thing when i know in my heart that the simple solution is to let it go. let the whole thing go. kiss it goodbye and let it sleep with the fishes. apologies, i watched the godfather for the 100th time last night. that's my favorite movie of all time. "its a mafia message....it means lucia brasi sleeps with the fishes." like i was sayin. i loved her like i loved no other. what me and her had is past tense. it can never be rekindled. no one has hurt me like she did. all we can be is friends. so, its time to let all the feelings that still remain, all the feelings that you shouldnt have for someone that is just your friend, sleep with the fishes. anyway, i talked to dawn today. she read me a new poem.....woo lawd. i had to cross my legs! that was my treat for the day. i get so nervous when i talk to her on the phone. online, im aight. but on the phone, im speechless. im never one to be totally speechless. dawn is one of those people that when you are on the phone with her, you want to keep your mouth shut and just listen to what she has to say. ive only talked to her on the phone about 3 times. everytime, i was so damn quiet. today, i told her that her poetry makes me want to cremate my notebook. she gave me some inspiring words (as normal) and told me to keep writing. one day, im goin to get up enough bravery to read some of my poetry to her. i went back to work at 2 cuz cream has no cream. i get paid on wednesday but i got to pay my room deposit plus all my other expenses. so, wednesday night, im goin to be broke, but everything will be paid. but still, i would be so nice to be able to go out to eat instead of eatin this nasty ass cafeteria food every day. yo, i think they have a deal with some squash farmers...every damn day, squash is in some dish they fix. if i see another damn squash, im goin to scream!!!! i might just treat myself to a veggie sub on wheat with extra tomatoes and crushed peppers from subway....yummy. yo, i keep havin the illest dreams. i keep dreamin im famous. its almost the same dream every night. one night, i was accepting an award and i got a standing ovation. then, one night i was in a limo and people were chasin it and screamin my name. i have no idea what this re-occurring dream means. im going to have my own clothing line. im going to get my doctorate in criminal justice......i'ma be dr. cream. im going to have a bunch of books published. im going to write, direct, and produce a couple of movies. im going to own my own restaurant chain where they serve chitlins, jerk chicken, potato salad, jamaican beef patties, fried plantains, ox tails, veggie cuisine, and kool-aid. so, maybe one day i will be famous. who knows....im limitless.