CALL DA PLUMBER........same shit, different toilet...day in and day out....all i know for a fact is that im damn tired. this shit is gettin old...smellin...and dammit i am tired of smellin it. tired of lyin with it and to it....denyin its existance....sprayin air freshener....lightin candles....holdin my damn breath.....but dammit, it stinks too much to ignore it anymore. this shit is smellin up my entire house....im tired yo....im tired....you know what....i am goin to alleviate myself of this stench...ima callin the damn plumber.

love and happiness...pros and cons......i got out the shower, put baby oil gel on my body, wrapped a towel around me, and walked into the room. my touch lamp and my tv was on. i looked to my left to see her sitting on my bed with her back against the wall wearing a black wife beater and boxers....watchin tv. i walked over to her and stood in front of her. our eyes met and tears ran down my face. she scooted closer to me, wiped my tears, and held me. i dropped the towel and she rubbed me...everywhere she could get her hands to...her hands expressed physically, what she felt for me emotionally. tears kept falling down my face and she wiped them all away. i got on the bed and she laid beside me. i laid my head on her arm and she stroked my hair, my face...she kissed my eyelids, my nose...shit, everywhere. she even kissed my heart. that night, we made love. WE made love. there were no words spoken...we expressed our emotions physically. she made me feel like i was the most precious, most beautiful womyn in the world...she appreciated my body, my kisses, my love....she held my hands above my head and it was like we were floatin...together. i cried tears of pleasure....then....i woke up. next....today i have learned that love and happiness are not conjoined. just because you love someone or someone loves you, doesnt necessarily mean that you will be happy. you can love someone but be totally miserable. true happiness comes from you and the most high. "somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what's more than enough."- lady day.....thats it....peace.....cream out.

real shit.....i have been more quiet lately.....instead of talkin, i just look and listen. why is it that people talk about other peeps with the same flaws that they have??? does that make any damn sense? its like the pot callin the kettle black. especially chubby peeps....they always talk about someone bein fat. or people that arent attractive sayin someone else is ugly. ummm..reality check...you aint so skinny or cute yaself. next....i dont really eva talk about sex.....but i have somethings on my mind that i need to get out. sex is a beautiful thing....if and only if the 2 people mutually love, respect, and care for each other. i have had some incidents happen in my life that have effected my views on sex so, the topic is real touchy with me. the act is even touchier. (if thats a word) there was a time in my life when i couldnt have sex without cryin. mainly, because i wasnt doin what i wanted to do (being with a womyn) and like i said before, some things happened that effected it as well. so, when i was 18, i decided to become celibate. celibacy helped because it gave me time to clear my mind and really think about why i felt the way i did about sex. i was celibate for 2 years. that brings me to this....sometimes, people dont understand that your sexual history means something. every person you are intimate with is a part of your life forever because you shared yourself with them so be choosy....i sound like a commercial but im dead serious. next...i watched enter the dragon last night. it was soooooooo live. i cant wait to see more bruce lee movies. aight...all this rain has me tired. ill holla.....cream out.

ohhhhh canada....its been raining all day....and i have slept a lot in the past 2 days. i havent slept this much since i was younger. i think i am catching up on all the sleep i have lost in the past 3 years of college. speaking of college...i am anxious to go back to school. like i said before, i plan to do things differently this year. i really need insurance...didnt really realize how important it was until i got sick. plus...i need to go to the dentist...im tryin to get rid of my wisdom teeth before they hurt. next...im still on ice...aint shit changed. i think its gettin worse. im just really tired....tired of doin shit that doesnt benefit me. i have never been self centered but dammit it seems like i should be cuz no one is goin to do shit for me but me. is it beneficial to do shit for other people...i mean really? its like the more you do and the more you give....the more they want and the more they expect. i feel like i have nike prints on my back. and what have they done for me?? not a damn thing. i need to go to bed before i flip the fuck out....i have entirely too much on my brain and its makin me more irritable than usual. miss irritable aka cream.....out.

on ice....retreatism at its best.......i have been writin all day....every chance i have had....i have had a pen in my hand. i have reached an all time temperature low....da kid is cold as hell. my tolerance level is -1,000,000. i really not in the mood for shit right now. im not goin to bitch about the same shit i have been bitchin about....its obvious that shit aint changin so dammit i am. NEXT....love can be the most beautiful process in the world and it can be the most shitty feelin you eva felt in your life. when love is professed.....its nothin but words. but when love is a verb....and not just a damn word....and it is SHOWN....that is the beautiful part. FUCK WORDS....SHOW ME. i really dont feel like writin on here...just needed to get that out. MAKE LOVE A VERB....cream out.

blonde ambition.....when me, woo, and the kids went to the park....i sat on a bench and meditated. its been so long....2 years to be exact....and it felt so good. i find myself gettin back to me...back to when i did what the hell i wanted to do and was at peace. that is the best feeling in the world. when i meditated, a lot of things that i was thinking about became clearer to me. first of all, i have wasted too much of my life worrying about things that dont matter. i keep planning and trying to prepare for the future and get over my past....and forgetting the present. i cant control what happens or what other people do....i am my only concern. thought i learned that lesson....guess not huh. i feel my heart gettin colder....every ounce of caring and compassion i have is easing out of me. i dont know if its a healthy feelin.....but thats where i am at right now. next...me and woo went to a friend's get together at a bar. yo...we looked like the odd couple. i had on a peasant shirt, a long denim skirt with a split up the front, and flip flops with little heels. my fro was out tho. it has gotten soooo big. i was surprised when i picked it out. woo had on a a tan dress shirt with some echo jeans and tims. she had her locs wrapped. one reason why i like connecticut is the people dont look at me like i am a damn alien. at home, they would have stopped and stared. people look at me all the time...but here, they dont stare at me. we enjoyed ourselves....woo drank a cup of beer for $5 and wanted to puke afterwards. i drank a tropical martini....i was a good girl. i try not to drink around people i dont know very well. i tend to get bolder when i drink...if ya think im blunt now...just imagine me drinkin. if i am harsh now....just imagine what i dont say until i drink. i might slap a bitch when i am drunk. anyway, after that, we rode around and talked for a while and then we went to barnes and noble. i saw soooo many books that i want. my bookshelf is goin to be full when i move. i need to eat and take care of woo....she fell down the basement steps. i gotta pamper her tonight...i need a glass of merlot....quand serai-t-je choye?.....il jamais arrivera? peace.......cream out.

tgif....today has been ok so far. got my first check....well it was cash...but yall get it. i have money yo...plus my check from school will be here tomorrow. yo, i am goin to have money. i am so friggin happy. i am not goin to let anything piss me off today...i dont care how many tudes get popped my way....ima let them roll off my back like water off of a ducks ass. *** todays outlook: ***fuck yo cuss menetin smelly ass tude cuz cream is in a peachy ass mood, fuck da dumb shit cuz cream doesnt have time for it, fuck ya issues cuz cream could care less, fuck ya drama cuz cream only cares about the bold and the beautiful not yo shit, and fuck you again cuz i got money dammit. next...everybody keeps tellin me they miss me....i miss yall asses too. yall just dont know. i miss the laughter only a friend can induce....not sayin that i dont laugh now....its just me and my friends are silly as hell. so i dont feel uncomfortable bein silly with them...and believe me, i act a damn fool. their sense of humor is like mine....i have a weird sense of humor and so do they. like i said...i miss yall asses too. next...tonight i am gettin a bottle of merlot. it has been so long since i had one and dammit....i deserve a glass after all the shit i have been through since the last time i drank some. that is the only thing i can afford to splurge on cuz i have so many things that i need. i forgot a lot of stuff at home and i need some new stuff. mainly clothes...yo, i havent had new clothes in almost a year. aint that some shit?? i stay broke....thats about to change tho, cuz da kid is gettin a job while i am in school come hell or high water. i refuse to live how i have been livin for the past 4 years...struggling, barely makin it. fukka that. next....i hope i do something today....go somewhere, do some fun shit. tomorrow me and woo are workin in the restaurant i work at durin the week...but we get to keep all the profit. so hopefully, we will have some money in our pockets tomorrow. shit...i know i will. thats 3 sources of money in 2 days....all blessings from the most high. my only day off is goin to be on sunday. oh well....im makin money. this post is hella long so......cream got da money.....dolla dolla bills yall....out.

surprise, surprise.....yo...last night was.....last night was tight. i got a foot massage until i dozed off then it started lightning. i am so fuckin shook of lightning. anywhoo, woo laid on my tummy and held me and.....things started happening. we went out to our spot and we could hear the rain so clear, like we were outside yo. it was thundering and lightning and the rain was fallin and she was holdin me....damn damn damn. it was so beautiful....for the time it lasted. we always get interrupted somehow....always. neva fails. we were talkin about gettin a room this weekend....that would be so wonderful....no kids, no phone, no interruptions....just me and her. today she took me to this park and it was beautiful. she has been so attentive the past 2 days.....she still has that smart ass mouth and she still is an asshole....but i see her tryin to do better. anyway, i could see me building my life here....which, right now, is what i am plannin on doin after i graduate. i have been workin at this restaurant for 2 weeks now....i am so proud of myself yo. cookin bacon, eggs, sausage, and grits every morning and servin assholes. its not my job at school....but i like it because it proves that i can do shit on my own....i can take care of myself. my determination to make it is soooo strong yo. i will not lose....i refuse. aight...gotta go tend to woo...peace....madame cream out.

dive deep....sittin here...listenin to billie and the rain outside...in my solitude...thinkin...decided to write. today was cool.....i was tired as hell at work cuz i was up all night twistin woo's new growth. she had about an inch of new growth...damn shame. yo, right now...i am sittin here salty as hell....my bitterness towards my father is comin back.....i havent heard from him in 2 months....i hung up on him the last time he called. things got loud....i felt myself about to cry....so i hung up. that doesnt stop me from bein bothered by the situation. i think about it and i get teary eyed....insha'allah....my children will not feel this way ever. next....i want to light some incense, put on some coltrane, lay in the dark.....and have a deep conversation....i want to release all these feelins i have been havin. i want to be listened to....comforted....hugged....loved. i want to feel comfortable....talkin, sharin my feelins....cryin...laughin. i want to hear "baby, its gon be aight." and feel that shit in my soul when the words are spoken. i want to be appreciated for the nurturing, attentive womyn i am....i have realized that what i want and what i have dont always meet. peace......cream out.

whoaaaaa.....damn yo...where should i start. the beginning would be nice...huh. i have been in connecticut for almost 2 weeks now. its cool...so far. woo's comp is fucked up....not my fault tho. we have been through so much....her daughter was in the hospital for 2 days, we are gettin used to each other, i am gettin used to havin kids around all the time....just a lot of stuff yo. i am in love yo...but this is the hardest relationship i have been in. its effortless to love her....it just takes a lot of effort to maintain us. i require attention..especially since its not everyday i get to hold my girl or rub her face while she talks to me....i value every minute that we spend together because i know that 6 weeks isnt a long time...i am going back to va...that altima is goin to ride down my street without me in it...i wont hear her snorin or hear her get up at 2 am to eat....i feel like a part of me is with her...like she is my left foot...she compliments what i already have...she allows me to strut. are my feelings dangerous??? probably. who knows....we could break up an hour from now, a minute from now. nothin is certain except for change and death....all i know is i am in love and regardless of how many times she falls asleep on me, pisses me off, *cough*gets on my damn nerves *cough*....i am in love with her yella ass and she is who i want to grow old with. today, it was confirmed that we arent gettin married in june. too soon...(go ahead and say told ya so)...plus we dont have any money. i really dont know how to feel about the situation... *catch those feelings in the next post* next...i went to ny yesterday (the bronx and harlem)....it was ok...not what i thought. enjoyed the ride there tho. new haven was so much more exciting...i saw a crackhead beat a man out of $140, 2 girls fighting, 2 men get arrested, woo cuss out a jamaican man *suck ya mudda*.....it was like watchin tv. all that excitment yesterday has me tired....enough for now...i need a nap. peace...........cream out.

part deux......yo.....contrary to the popular belief, cream is shy. i know i have said it before. i am shy as hell yo....not much of a talker...i communicate best through writing. which is why i am writing this. i am in connecticut with woo....first day...and i am nervous as shit. i am not much of a talker and i dont want peeps to think i am stuck up or i am anti-social...even tho the later is the truth. this is all new for me and yo....this is my me time....my time to get my thoughts together. aight...not only am i visiting my girl for the first time...i am meeting her fam as well. i have never stayed with anyone outside of my fam.....and to top it off....i am 8 hours away. its a lot to take in at one time. woo is too tired and too occupied to notice but i am feelin some kind of way right now....i have a mixture of nervousness and fear....messed up combination yo. i know in time, this feeling will go away...i hope it leaves soon. she made some baked ziti.....maybe i will feel betta after i eat....when i am have things on my mind i tend not to have an appetite. next....i talked to my mother this afternoon. i missed some drama....praise the most high. something always happens when i leave....lucky me. i miss my fam a little bit....they get on my last good nerve and i cant spend more than a week with them without gettin frustrated, irritated, or down right pissed off.....but i luh they asses. aight...thats enough ventin...i gotta fix woo's comp...think i fucked somethin up. lata....creamy puffalicious angel.....out.

baisse moi.....its been a minute...i know. well, i went home and put my computer in my closet.....i was only home for a week anyway. no sense in hookin it all up and then packin it all back up again. anywhoo, my week at home was cool. my mom's boyfriend didnt get on my nerves too much. the only thing he did to really piss me off was eat all of the caramel cake...da kid didnt get one damn slice. my niece is gettin so damn big yo. im startin to corrupt her mind already. i taught her to say "shut up". *evil laugh* nah, thats the only bad thing ill teach her. dont want her bein a damn heathen. next...did decent this semester...got a D in law tho. shit...all the exams were true/false....i would have preferred essay based tests instead of that shit. oh well....i got an A, 2 B's, a C, and a D. as long as im passin....i dont give a fat monkeys ass. ima try to make the deans list for the rest of my college career tho. i know i can do it....its just applying myself. i made the deans list my first 2 years of college. next...woo came and got me yesterday...she was 2 hours late. i was worried...pacin the living room...yo..i watched at least 6 episodes of the cosby show while i was waitin on her. then finally she called and said she was down the street. it felt soooo good to be held yo. it had been so long. she laid on my boobies and i laid my head on her locs and we slept...a little. theres that evil laugh again..heheheh next...the ride to connecticut was.....long. we were actin silly as normal so that made the time go by fast. woo tried to freeze me to damn death.....i might have a bug....woke up snifflin. we got here at 5 am....i put down my bags, took off my pants, and went to sleep. i woke up and forgot were i was...i was lookin around like where...in...the...hell...am...i? woo woke me up at 9...*sigh*...we engaged in some "activities" damn.....good mornin bay.......now im wide awake and she is knocked the fuck out. im talkin bout snorin and errthang. i am a little salty cuz i am sittin here....doin nothin....hungry as a weedhead that smoked a quarter of highgrade....i feel icky....but i know she has gotten at the most, 8 hours of sleep in the last 2 days....so maybe i shouldnt be too salty...she still is gon hear it when she gets up...shit. well...this shit is hella long...sooooo...miss cream....dat chic in ya wet dreams....is....out.

2 days and a wake up.....takin a study break...listenin to this had some shit on my mind.....decided to write. i am not goin to be able to go to quinnipiac because they will not accept my financial aid simply because i do not attend their school. i was hurt at first...got mad as hell...then decided....it aint so bad. ill just go to plan b....stackin my money. cream always has a plan b...sometimes a plan c. i have a big plan in my head yo...i have been thinkin on it for a long time. i finally decided to act on it. but first....i got to get my money right and i have to absorb every damn ounce of free education i can online. that prolly doesnt make sense now....but when i do da damn thing, it will. plus, me not goin to school will allow me to spend more time with my girl.....it will allow my brain some time to chill. next....finals.....what can i say? bullshit, thats what i am gonna say. i have a 8 page essay, a take home exam, and a bunch of cases to brief.....all in 2 days. my big day is thursday. i have to pack thursday night....then friday morning....im out. next....i am so tired of this....im gonna be on here from now on. conversation is a little more mature. aight...back to work. peace....cream out.

ill take yo cookies......for the past 3 days....i havent been in my room much. people have been callin...leavin evil messages. "where are youuuuuuuuu????" *smh* well, get used to me not bein here cuz ummm.....i have exams all week and then im goin back to my momma's house on friday. am i excited...yeah, kinda. i need a change of environment but then again i am going into an environment that i really dont want to be in. a week sharing the same living space as my mom's boyfriend who i really strongly dislike....lawd. on a brighter note.....2 weeks and i will be in new haven. i am nervous about that. im going to be in her space...never been in any of my exes space....they all came to me. this time, im leavin my comfort zone and entering hers. i havent seen my girl in 2 months. i cant wait to just chill with her...play with her locs....its goin to be so nice to look down and see her asleep with her head on my boobies. i have to make sure everything is cool for summer school....im going to have 3 weeks of vacation before i go to summer school. that is so damn dandy. i need a break. next....went to the riverfront and took pics. i walked on this pier...i was scared as hell yo. it was real shaky and diallo's dumb ass kept jumpin. then he said to walk in the middle of the damn thing cuz i guess thats where a big steel beam was. where does it matter where i walk...if it fell, we both would be in the damn nasty ass river. the ohio river is so damn dirty yo...its a ugly green color. there was a man fishin...i personally would not eat nothin that lived in that water. i wouldnt even stick my feet in it. next....i got my tatts darkened...it didnt hurt at all...but now, they itch like hell. i feel like i have about 10 mosquito bites on my arm and my back. i dont remember tatts itchin this much...gettin them aint the bad part...its waitin for them to heal that is hell. when i get to connecticut i want to get another tattoo and get pierced. i dyed my hair champagne blonde...how does it look you ask??? it looks the damn same. my hair is a trip yo. it does not take dyes well. its about 1 shade lighter. so...next month, ima try again. i want to have blonde hair with fire red tips. aight...this bedtime lotion has me yawnin...so ill holla lata. peace....creamthatcantbewhipped....out.

ne me quitte pas....my day started at 2 am. me and woo had an argument.....a bad one. after thinking about the whole situation long and hard, i have come to this. i am dealing with a lot within myself. i am fighting the inner demons that are trying to take over me. i have dealt with so much bullshit in my life, been through, seen, and felt so much. contrary to what people may think, i am not depressed. da kid just has a lot of shit on her mind. so the times i seem distant or i am real quiet...i am thinking. by the way...if anotha mofo asks me why i dont smile......i dont smile simply because i dont have to. not that i dont have anything to smile about, i am somewhat healthy, im alive, im living......i just dont choose to outwardly smile. my soul smiles all the time...my mind giggles.....my heart sings. i am just not one to smile...and if by chance you see me smile, know that more than likely its a reflection of yours. anywhoo, back to the topic, i have been through a lot......i have days that i feel crappy...some days i feel peachy. right now, my relationship with my mother is dwindling down to nothing. her man is home so she doesnt have time for me. it hurts me but i have to remember that i am 22 years old....i am not a baby anymore. i am getting ready to go home...home is not where i grew up or where i go on holidays....home is in connecticut with my girl. she is trying so hard to make me feel better...i just dont think she can relate because she has never been where i am right now. so, i always tell her she doesnt understand how i feel. she tries tho. i love her so much...so much more than she realizes. i know this is mad short but gotta take my ass to work so i can buy my books for summer school...ill holla. cream out.

vanity 6.......i havent felt like writing. really, i havent felt like doin much of anything. yesterday, diallo got me out of this damn room...almost had to drag me out....we went to charleston. its about 45 minutes away. mayn, to be the capitol, this shit looked like my hometown and my hometown is small as hell. the only thing that was different, was they had a big ass mariott downtown. what i found weird was....when we went to the hood, why in the fuck was there a cadillac dealership right in the middle of that bitch?? like a constant reminder of shit that most people in the hood will never see....unattainable because they simply cant afford it. i was lookin for a popeyes...i luh popeye's chicken, dirty rice, and biscuits. yummm. i didnt find one tho. guess ill have to wait til i get to ct. we went to a sex shop too. yo, i have neva seen sooo much kinky, nasty, shit. saw fake pussies....they had little open spaces on the packages so you could feel the texture of them. none of them felt like pussy to me. i saw blow up animals....pigs and sheep. anything you could think about was in that store. i had to hold in laughin......soo much shit in that store will make you giggle. its funny how people wont look at you in the eyes in that store....goin to the nasty sto aint nothin to be ashamed of dammit. if you wanna buy a plastic full size fist, some whips, a 40 oz of astroglide, and a blow up chic.....do what u do. next...i have an issue. sometimes, i want to sit and vibe about poetry or politics or astronomy...shit, something with some substance. my conversation doesnt consist of deep shit all the time.....i am not one of those people that cant talk about simple shit. its just sometimes, i wanna have an intellectual conversation. i need my mind stroked. its not starvin...i make sure i feed it...sometimes i think it overeats and gives me a headache....shit, i just wanna know stuff. i want to expand my mind....see how much knowledge i can acquire. i feel like am the only one tho....i always have. always felt different cuz i would much rather go to a museum than a jay-z concert, stay home and write than go to an open mic night, be by myself than in a room full of people, listen than talk.....that list goes on and on. i guess i have to accept the fact that i am different than the average and i have to entertain myself....mentally masturbate. fucked up...but true. now that my buddy artiste is graduating and has to turn in her computer....i dont know what i am goin to do. laaaaawd...what am i gon do??? i need to get some sleep...feel my eye swellin (damn pollen)....i have done enough writing fo one day. peep da 2 posts below....they are new as well. peace...cream dream out.

fuck ruby slippers.......i find myself....not wanting to talk to my fam. may sound strange, but i really dont. i mean, everytime we talk there is another issue. same shit, different toilet. its always drama, always problems. always something yo. ALWAYS. there is nothing pleasant....except my niece's giggle. my niece is my heart yo....she makes me want kids of my own. i am not lookin forward to going home...im goin to be there for a week, then i go to connecticut with woo....but i have to come back eventually. my ex used to tell me that i was a different person when i am at home....i agree. i am much more stressed at home. home is a place i am not lookin forward to. cream out.

random thoughts.......2 weeks and counting....i will be on my way home and then a week later, i will be on my way to connecticut. yo, its like all of a sudden....people are inviting me places and wanting to be around me all the time. anybody that knows me will tell you that i am slightly anti-social...well no....they'd say i am real anti-social. i agree...to a certain extent. i dont like being around a lot of people. i like being by myself. always have. people get on my nerves....i am very easily irritated. damn, i cant stop sneezin. shit. anyway, i am turnin down all invites...including the one to go to atl for the week....i need to stay here BY MYSELF and get some school work done. next week is the week of transition. i get bored very easily and its time for a new look. not feelin the one i have right now. i have an appointment to get my tattoos darkened. they have lightened up sooooo much yo. they are barely there. might get another one...heheh...if i have enough money, which i think i will. i gotta make a couple of moves and ill have a new tatt for the summer. wonder what ill get and wear ill get it....hmmmmmm, wouldnt you like to know. might fuck around and get a piercing ***evil laugh***. im dyin my hair blonde next wednesday. thats nothin new...i have done it like 5 times. the diff is....i am not goin to rinse my hair for the first 2 weeks. goin to read my book...feel inspired all of a sudden. cream out.

down to earth.....when i am in my room at night, loneliness creeps in. i just feel mad lonely at night. i am fine during the day. when the sun sets....i start wishin my girl was here with her head on my boobies. over spring break, she would lay her head on my boobies and hold me and about 5 minutes later, id hear her snorin. i miss sleepin on her locs (yeah they are that long). they smelled so good. damn yo. 27 days and ill be with her. next...friday, me and diallo went to the riverfront and to a big ass park after i got my blood taken and got my prescriptions. (results back this week) yo, the riverfront is sooo damn pretty. i sat next to the water, ate a chicken quesadilla, and sipped raspberry iced tea. i got a little tan too. i skipped around like a little kid....felt like a little girl again. next time i go, i have to take pictures. the park was pretty too...big as hell....it has a little creek running through it and a little bridge....looks kinda like something out of a fairy tale...damn i want to take sooo many pictures. im finding myself getting into photography a lot more. lookin at marc bapiste's "beautiful" and talkin to artiste has sparked something inside of me. i mean, i have always liked taking pictures.....always said "that would be a tight ass picture"....even leaned out of a 6 story window to take pictures of the moon. da kid has an eye....from what i know and from what i have heard. cant wait til i get my camera. next...my easter was ok. i wanted some damn ham but i didnt get any. *poutin* i talked to tia for about 2 hours. she is going through some things and needed to vent. i didnt mind cuz she doesnt call me with issues all the time. weird thing is, we are a lot closer than we were when we were together. thats my dawg. hopefully, when me and woo go to georgia, we can stop by and see her. i dont know if i could be in the same room with them....they both make me laugh til i get stomach cramps. i told tia that i would cook if i came there. that poor child is livin off of pasta salad and hamburger helper. *smh* her girl doesnt cook. im so glad my momma made sure i knew how to cook everything she does and made sure i knew how to follow a damn recipe. im tellin you, my girl is goin to gain weight when i come up there. i dont cook simple shit like spaghetti...well, sometimes, but i hook it up.....when i cook, i cook. im talkin bout hams, roasts, chicken (fried, baked, jerked, barbequed, or curried), jambalaya, homemade mac and cheese (not that box shit), fresh greens (glory aint got shit on me), potato salad, pies, cakes....you name it, i can cook it. da kid is a chef. miles is puttin me to sleep......goin to bed now....gotta get up early and run. peace.....creamadelic angel out.

peachey cream....i am in a good mood yo....besides the fact that my right eye is swollen and the left eye keeps itchin. last night, me and diallo went to ruby tuesday. i got lit yo. i drank a megarita with an extra shot of tequila. didnt eat anything....that drink filled me up. we drove over this bridge that goes to ohio....it is so damn pretty. it felt nice to feel wind blow through my hair and seein the ohio river. i appreciate the little things. doesnt take much to make me happy. then...i came home and cussed my father out. this bastid aint called in 3 months...called me...and said "hey". wtf you mean "hey". mayn, i cussed him out and hung up. felt good not to cry...not to be weak for a man that doesnt give a fuck about me and never really has....at least i cant tell it. the night i sat on my floor and waited for him to call back and he didnt was the final tic. i refuse to repeatedly put myself in a situation where i am gettin hurt. next...cream wrote me a letter. my mother read it to me when i talked to her today. im glad we are back in contact again....i missed my best friend. he understands me more than anyone else on the face of this earth and i understand him the same way. cream is my brotha from a different motha. i need to hurry up and write him back. next...is phone sex cheatin??? me and tia were debatin that today. well, i think it is...you are fantasizing about someone else....like artiste said "substituting verbal for physical". she said it wasnt...i believe it is. i would be highly pissed if woo had phone sex with another woman. pissed is actually puttin it mildly. i would be ready to cut a bitch. yo, dont know if its somethin in the water...but i have turned into a horny toad. i feel sorry for my girl cuz she gon be tired goin to work cuz we gon be doin da damn thang a lot. from what i hear, i have a very high sex drive.....im talkin bout doin it all day and only stoppin to take showers, pee, or get somethin to eat. my momma said that when i turn 40, *insha allah*, it will be worse. it seems like all i do..is think about sex. all day i....dream about...all day i...dream about sex. i mean, there are other things on my mind....those thoughts get interrupted by naughty thoughts. maybe thats why i have been kinda grumpy....i need some sex...some dirty....smack my booty...what's my name....type sex. some sex that requires me to take a damn nap after. i gotta go get my blood checked later on this morning...so i need to take my yella ass to sleep.....cream out.