blonde ambition.....when me, woo, and the kids went to the park....i sat on a bench and meditated. its been so long....2 years to be exact....and it felt so good. i find myself gettin back to me...back to when i did what the hell i wanted to do and was at peace. that is the best feeling in the world. when i meditated, a lot of things that i was thinking about became clearer to me. first of all, i have wasted too much of my life worrying about things that dont matter. i keep planning and trying to prepare for the future and get over my past....and forgetting the present. i cant control what happens or what other people do....i am my only concern. thought i learned that lesson....guess not huh. i feel my heart gettin colder....every ounce of caring and compassion i have is easing out of me. i dont know if its a healthy feelin.....but thats where i am at right now. next...me and woo went to a friend's get together at a bar. yo...we looked like the odd couple. i had on a peasant shirt, a long denim skirt with a split up the front, and flip flops with little heels. my fro was out tho. it has gotten soooo big. i was surprised when i picked it out. woo had on a a tan dress shirt with some echo jeans and tims. she had her locs wrapped. one reason why i like connecticut is the people dont look at me like i am a damn alien. at home, they would have stopped and stared. people look at me all the time...but here, they dont stare at me. we enjoyed ourselves....woo drank a cup of beer for $5 and wanted to puke afterwards. i drank a tropical martini....i was a good girl. i try not to drink around people i dont know very well. i tend to get bolder when i drink...if ya think im blunt now...just imagine me drinkin. if i am harsh now....just imagine what i dont say until i drink. i might slap a bitch when i am drunk. anyway, after that, we rode around and talked for a while and then we went to barnes and noble. i saw soooo many books that i want. my bookshelf is goin to be full when i move. i need to eat and take care of woo....she fell down the basement steps. i gotta pamper her tonight...i need a glass of merlot....quand serai-t-je choye?.....il jamais arrivera? peace.......cream out.