dive deep....sittin here...listenin to billie and the rain outside...in my solitude...thinkin...decided to write. today was cool.....i was tired as hell at work cuz i was up all night twistin woo's new growth. she had about an inch of new growth...damn shame. yo, right now...i am sittin here salty as hell....my bitterness towards my father is comin back.....i havent heard from him in 2 months....i hung up on him the last time he called. things got loud....i felt myself about to cry....so i hung up. that doesnt stop me from bein bothered by the situation. i think about it and i get teary eyed....insha'allah....my children will not feel this way ever. next....i want to light some incense, put on some coltrane, lay in the dark.....and have a deep conversation....i want to release all these feelins i have been havin. i want to be listened to....comforted....hugged....loved. i want to feel comfortable....talkin, sharin my feelins....cryin...laughin. i want to hear "baby, its gon be aight." and feel that shit in my soul when the words are spoken. i want to be appreciated for the nurturing, attentive womyn i am....i have realized that what i want and what i have dont always meet. peace......cream out.