bittersweet part 2.......i cant believe im awake this early. maybe it has something to do with the fact i went to bed at 12:30 and went to sleep about an hour later. i didnt feel like doing anything but chillin. well, i didnt get the job i went on the interview for. i knew i wasnt going to get it when they told me they had someone from one of their other offices that wanted to transfer back AFTER they saw the job posted online. how can i with my rookie ass compete with that? they called me and asked could they keep my application on file.....whateva. now i have to focus on this other job i have an interview for. im trying to think positive instead of becoming discouraged. its hard when u hear nothing but rejection. ive decided that its time for me to get my license. i downloaded the driver's manual to study so i can get my learners permit and drive legally. after i get my license, im going to grad school. i know i cant depend on anyone taking me back and forth to school. its bad enough i have to depend on someone to take me back and forth to work. speaking of being dependent, i hate that fuggin word. thats one thing i really dont like being. ive realized me not driving has made me dependent so im doing something about it. i dont want to depend on anyone for anything. next.....despite me studying zen like crazy, im officially on ice again. i have to protect my heart and well being. when i love, i tend to love hard. that tends to bite me in my ass...fuck that...everytime ive ever been in love, it has bit me in my ass. too many chunks are missin from my ass now so i have to protect my heart....and my ass for that matter. no time for heartache and tears, i got too much living to do. in a minute...peace and love.....prolific out.