the dot on the i......hmmmm....is it wrong to think about what her skin feels like or how she tastes? or how her kisses would feel on my neck or how her hands would feel on my thighs or how her poetry would sound in my ears while she is laying next to me playing in my fro. conversations with her are easy but letting down my guard and my inhibitions is hard. the fact is, im not into casual sex or flings. when i have sex i want it to be a symbol of the love that we share for each other. not two people gettin their nuts with no feelings involved. for some people its cool, but for cream, its soooo not cool. now, i dont think its wrong to think about being intimate with her. there's nothing wrong with thoughts, as long as they dont become actions. im not gonna lie yo....thoughts of her...and me...hot...sticky...covered in honey...and...ooohhhhhh shit. *fannin myself* *ahem*...sometimes, i wish that i could have casual sex...maybe i wouldnt be so damn sexually frustrated. my body needs to be touched with hands other than my own...but i know that after it was all over and we are layin there sweaty and out of breath in a big ass wet spot......id feel fucked up. honestly, the topic of a relationship more than friendship hasnt really been discussed....why? i have no idea. i know when i talk about other women her tone changes...she tries to act like she isnt phased and i know better. as far as the other chics ive been talking to...some are still around, strictly on a friendship level. im just not feelin anybody. no one has really held my attention for a long time. either they are crazy as all hell, confused, immature, remedial as in "the little bus", or they just get on my damn nerves. i used to think i was being hard on them, like i was being too selective. hell, i know what i like and what i can deal with and most of these chics aint eeeeeeeeeeven up to par. i know that sounds conceited but if i dont think im a queen and im worthy of nothing less than a queen, all im going to get is cluckheads. real recognizes real....trust and believe it. there is one young lady that i dig a lil sumthin...but i dont know how in the hell it would work anytime soon. she is int he process of gettin her shit together. im not going to interrupt her process. only time will tell what happens between me and her. next...insomnia is kickin my ass....along with my new found laziness. i havent felt like doing SHIT that isnt beneficial to me. smh...maybe thats a good thing. next...right now, i have sushi on the brain. i ate sushi last friday and dammit...im cravin more. tuna rolls and wasabi is the bomb. it makes my mouth happy. the only thing is....it makes me more of a hornball than i already am. *sighhhh* ok...ima attempt to go to sleep now. in a minute....peace and sexiness....cream out.