little girl blue.......today, for the upteenth time.....somebody woke me up early. for what??? for not a damn thing. it is so nice to lay in my own space where i dont have to answer the phone.....in fact...i can take that bitch off the hook if i want to. to top it off.....the person that kept callin wasnt even someone i wanted to talk to or someone that wanted to talk to me. i was soooooo pissed. me and my dog were knocked out and this bama calls 6 times before 11 am. aint that a bitch? next......me and my mother went to feed the ducks by my brother's job today. yo.....im diggin ducks right now. the males are some evil bastids....the females are cool. i fed them bread out of my hand. they shook their tail feathers for me....im dead serious. it was so peaceful yo....i didnt think about anything but those ducks the entire time i was there. lately, i have been real attentive to animals....dont know why. i gave my dog a bath and a pedicure last night. she keeps laying her head me and doing things to show that she appreciates me. im glad that somebody appreciates me.....even if its just my dog. im not goin to go into my feelings of being taken for granted....same shit, different toilet. aint shit changed. next...i cleaned my closet today to. ive been tryin to keep myself busy....it keeps things off of my mind. i found some of my old poetry books and an old journal. they reminded me of how far i have come. i was reading some of my journal entries about the times my ex and i would fight and the bruises i would have afterwards. it was like i was reading someone else's story.....like i said, it reminds me of how far i have come. on the other hand....i read some entries that remind me i am still tolerating the same shit that i was with him. i am almost in the same boat that i was in with him....not the fighting and shit tho. thats anotha can of shit that i dont feel like opening right now. i ripped up the journal and kept my old poetry book. i even found a notebook i had in the 6th grade. i have been writing poetry and short stories since i was in the 3rd grade. wish i had kept all the stuff i wrote. oh well. im finna enjoy the time i have alone in this house. in a minute....peace....cream out.