the fruit i long to taste.......i decided to apply to be an resident advisor (ra) today. think i would be a damn good one actually. i have been livin in this hell hole for 3 1/2 years now. the fact that i wouldnt have to pay for my room and board and my meal plan is a plus too. thats $3,000 a semester that will either go back to the loan company or go into my pocket. more than likely, its goin to go in my pocket. the first thing i would do, is tell my mom that i didnt get the money. about a week later i would have a new living room set sent to the house. my mom's furniture isnt bad...its just kinda crappy. we have had it since we moved into the house we are in now....7 or 8 years. she deserves new furniture. when she worked, she always tried to save for one, but something always came up so she had to spend the money she set aside. i want to make her smile. next...i am sending my resume to a friend of my great uncle...hes the head of the probation/parole thing at home. my uncle told me that i am guaranteed a job there this summer. im prayin that it will count towards my internship because work experience counts toward those hours. that means i would be finished with that internship crap this summer. plus, i get to show off my skills...i might be getting my foot in the door for a job there when i finish school. that is, if i dont go to grad school. still thinkin about it. speakin of my great uncle....i am makin it a point to go chill with my great uncle when i go home. he needs a kidney transplant...he adopted children, never had any of his own so i told him i would give him one of mine. i am an organ donor anyway. why not give an organ to someone that i know?? a lot of peeps dont understand...they all say i am crazy for even thinking about it. the big ? is, what if i need my kidney when i get older? well, here is my answer. i believe that everything happens for a reason and my life was written before i was born. the most high knows best. so, if i gave him one of my kidneys and one day, i needed a kidney, thats the most high's will. i wont question it because thats his/her will, just like me giving one of my kidneys to my uncle. if i am a match and he decides that he wants it, thats also the most high's will. so, im not worried about "what if". i am a strong believer in insha'allah. next, i am trying to go to summer school and 1 of the 2 colleges at home. i am soooo focused. i am tryin to hurry up and graduate so i can start doin the damn thing. start building a life for myself. yall, pray for me. next...my damn exes. yo, today must be "call ya ex" day cuz all of them bamas called me today. i dont mind latia callin me. its just them other bamas. talkin bout they miss me and they still love me. what da farfenugen eva. i advise yall to get the freak (tryin to stop cursin) over me and move on with your lives because i have definitely moved on with mine. next...a friend of mine is goin through some things. i want to be there for her. i want to take the pain out of her heart and replace it with happiness....she deserves it. she doesnt deserve the pain she is goin through. im goin to try my hardest to bring some light to her. she is my friend...so thats my job. next...i am goin to stop eatin beef. decided today. i want to eventually become a vegan. i think it will happen in about a year. my mind was sooo clear when i was a vegetarian. i miss that..so i am doin it again. before i forget...my explanation of fatty-bangin. ok..i am a big capone-n-noreaga fan. in one of their songs they said "fatty bangin, fatty bangin...she's cold bangin". they say it a lot actually. well, i am thick chic...thick to most, fat to some. when i was younger, it used to bother me when people used to call me fat. now that i am older...my view has changed. i dont give a damn if you think i am thick, fat, whateva. freak a damn diet. i will not starve myself to try to live up to other peoples standards of beauty. i embrace my fatty. i love my pot belly dammit. yo, peeps can say i am fat..but thats all they can say. i am pretty, from what i hear and from what i know. i wear this very well. i am very well put together...neva sloppy looking. i am highly intelligent. i am a beautiful person. so, since thats all they can say...ill be that fat girl. you cant front tho...this fatty is bangin. aight...this post is long....im gone to bed. peace.