so beautiful you are........yo, this meshell got me open. makes me want to cut off all the lights, burn some jasmine incense, and lay down in my bed and be still....*thought* i want to be held right now. its been so long since i have been held by someone that i know loves me. words are just words without actions. when someone tells me they love me....i always say show me, dont tell me. dont speak about it, be about it. i would rather have someone who didnt tell me they love me all the time, but showed me how much they love me, than to have someone constantly tellin me they love me and dont do shit but talk. like sade said....show me how deep love can be. keyword: show. ive only been in love once in my life. even tho i got hurt like a muhfucka in the end, it was a beautiful experience. if it didnt hurt like it did, i wouldnt have known how deep it was. if i wasnt in love with her, i would have said fuck her and moved on. but i didnt. i went through some shit. like i said, heart aches are fo real. it showed me that i am capable of lovin someone with everything in me. i didnt think da kid could love someone like that, until i loved her. right now, i believe that i am ready to love someone....i am ready to settle down and just be committed to one person....i am ready to build something with someone. yo, im just not going to settle for less than i deserve. i am a very good woman (a queen...dammit) and i deserve the same. im goin to be patient....i believe the most high is preparin me for her and she'll come into my life when the most high sees fit. i wonder who she is....what she looks like....what her goals are in life....what shes doing right now. maybe shes bein prepared for me. i know ive been talkin about love a lot lately...its really been on my mind. more than usual. anywhoo....i only have a week and a day left lil buddies and ill be home eatin chitlins and oysters (not at the same time tho)!! my momma (happy b-day to the queen who birthed cream) is gettin all excited about me comin home. i love her and my brother soooooo much. i miss them when im away....give me about a week at home....and im ready to come back to school. im just used to havin my own space....not havin to answer the phone when i dont want to....makin as much noise as i want to....sleepin all day and not doin a damn thing if i dont want to....the list goes on and on. thats the benefit of havin your own....you are the queen of yo shit and you can do what the hell you want to when you want to. yo, the kid is breakin out again. my skin is not glowin like its supposed to. i know its cuz i havent de-toxed in a long time. de-toxin gets impurities out of your body. i used to do it every week. i need to but i dont have everything i need, so it will have to wait until i get home. then, i can take a bath with dead sea salt and black soap....burn some sandalwood incense....sip on some grapefruit juice....play me some boney james....and chill. da queen needs to take her royal ass to bed...french quiz tomorrow....*thought*.... je deteste francais!! ....peace lil buddies.