thoughts.......like i said, i know it has been a while since i posted. i have been writing in my journal a lot...when i have time. it seems like time is passing by so fast...i can barely keep up. its hard to do the things you want to do in the time alloted. its like, i have so many goals and aspirations but no time. i dont sleep very much (my friends would say otherwise) because i am either at work or in class or studying. i realized about a year ago that college isnt for me right now but yet, im still here. im still here struggling to make passing grades in classes that really dont interest me. what am i here for? i am here because i know that without that damn piece of paper i might not have a chance to do anything else. that piece of paper will open some doors that would be closed to me if i didnt have it. i plan to move to connecticut when i graduate and the job market is competitive as hell there. so, da kid has to do what she has to do. come hell or high water, i am getting my degree. after i graduate and get a job, i will start doing me. i will start studying the things i want to study. i will start my design business. i will drink wine in paris and watch the hours go by on big ben in london. i will finally live. next...i bought a bottle of ellen tracy perfume today. it smells soooo good. i am so proud of myself.......i finally bought something for myself. im always buying for other people, putting myself second, third, sometimes fourth. today, i was first. well, i got my niece's christmas stuff out of layaway but thats it. shit, i work 5 days a week, i deserve to splurge on myself. next...exams start tomorrow. im a little worried but fuck it. either i know it or i dont. ill study and do my best. ok....im getting a headache. ill holla lata. in a minute....peace...cream out.