silent night......not quite. im laying on my floor, in the dark, with bilal blastin through my headphones. that negro needs to make a new album ASAP. my christmas was cool even tho i had to work AND i have a damn cold. i dont know who i got it from but if i could hunt down that evil, germ infested, person and make them drink all this nasty nyquil that i have been downing for the past 3 days and then blow all my snot on them, i would. yeah yeah, that was nasty as hell but for real, this cold thing is no joke. i hate being sick. i dont like taking medicine and i damn sure dont like blowing my nose, coughing or both every 5 minutes. hopefully, this mess will go away swiftly. what did i get for christmas? *insert evil laugh here* i got a new computer, 2 night gowns, a $50 gift certificate, and 2 candles. i think thats it. my room is such a mess that i dont know whats what. it would be so nice to take a candlelit bubble bath and sip merlot while listening to some jazz. unfortunately, that cant happen. at least, not right now. id probably fall asleep in the tub...which would probably be a good thing since i got woke up at the butt crack of dawn by my niece's screams because santa claus brought her annabelle. this annabelle doll blinks, makes noises, and all kinds of other crap. they didnt have dolls like that when i was younger...times change yo. she got mad stuff for christmas...enough toys and clothes for 3 children. she deserves it tho. dora wasnt here which sucked monkey's nuts. i miss her all the time but especially today. it felt so fucked up not to exchange gifts with her today. i couldnt see the excitement on her face when she finally saw what i got her for christmas. it would have been nice to lay up in the ned with her and just chill. i need her kisses right about now cuz in all honestly, im lonely. i have a new job...the job wanted....im living aight....im surrounded by my fam and a few friends....but im still lonely. im still anti-social even tho i have made it a point to be somewhat social at least once this month. ive yet to meet someone new that i click with on a friendship level since ive been home. hell, what did i expect? there wasnt anybody i associated with before i left so what makes things different now? *sigh* i definitely need to get my license so i can go some where that has poetry cafes, jazz concerts, museums.....anything but here. i wanna be far away from here...far away from....loneliness. my eyes are heavy....i better catch sleep while i can. in a minute....peace and love....cream out.