TMI.....this is probably tmi but dammit this is my blog and ill do what i want. now...i am horny as hell. maybe is because i have been feeling myself (not literally dammit) a lot more. ive been doing little shit that i havent done in a while like putting on makeup and shit. when i put lipgloss on and dress girly....yall should see the mofos who look at da kid and lick their lips. im damn sexy. i know i have my flaws but yo...life is entirely too short and time is too precious to stress about them. yo...i didnt know so many damn men and women prefer big girls. fuck yall skinny bitches!!! maybe i didnt realize uit because i didnt have the confidence that i do now. honestly, i dont know where in the hell it came from. i just woke up one morning and was like damn homegirl...you are sexy as hell. i guess being around positive people has a lot to do with it. next...i considering dying my hair again. its damn near summer and the dark hair has to go. the only issue is, now that im natural, i have to worry about the damage it might cause. when i was perming my hair, i didnt care because it was already damaged. i know that i have a head full of healthy, natural hair and i dont want to fuck that up. ill let it marinate a little more...the dye will be there. next...finally..after months and months...i saw my buddy nisha. i know i have talked about her before. check the damn archives. anyway, we couldnt really talk like we wanted to because ty was there. when there is a dom present, conversations are a lot different between femmes. we might all go somewhere tonight...im not sure. depends on how my friggin throat feels. nisha kept laughing at me everytime i swollowed because it was like i was putting so much effort into it. that shit hurts so bad. just imagine trying to swollow while someone is strangling you. thats how it feels. like i said...i would only wish this shit on my worst enemy. woo made a good point..me sleeping in an air conditioned house probably has a lot to do with me being sick. i dont have ac in the dorm...cheap fuckas. ill get someone tall to close my vent...my short ass cant reach it even if i stand on the bed. aight shit..this is gettin boring. in a minute....peace....cream that hasnt creamed in 3 months....out.

welcome to da noke......im finally home...actually, ive been home for about 3 weeks now. it hasnt gotten on my nerves until now. well...first of all, da kid is sick. i dont know who gave me this god forsaken germ but i wish i could give it back to them 100 times along with a kick in the ass. i havent eaten anything in 2 days. my throat feels like somebody is choking me and my nose is stopped up so i cant taste or smell anything. it sucks monkey ass. next...thanks to everyone who called or sent an e-mail to check to see if i was aight. im cool now. i was so fuckin stressed out with my relationship with woo, school, bills, me not having a job when i got back home....i thought i was losing my mind. it took me coming home, getting more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a day, having my niece wake me up every morning, and chilling with my fam to get me right. my fam gets on my nerves...they do some foul shit sometimes, but they are my blood. i luh dem niccas. next...me and chay went to the club last saturday. we met ty there. i have talked to ty for about a year and im just now meeting her in person. smh...me and my anti-social ass. anyway....we had fun. i didnt drink *gold star for cream* but i did talk about peeps. i couldnt help it yo. this dude sat across from me, chay, and ty and tried to holla at me. ok...i could understand if we were at a straight club. we are at a gay club.....he knew that shit when he came there. so why in the hell would he think that my ass would be interested in his ashy tyrone biggums looking ass. hell to da nah. absolutely not. im a lesbian homeboy....i probably like coochie more than you do. i want to go out this saturday if i can scrape up some money. next week is all about finding a job....da kid is flat broke and got a damn cell phone bill. somebody send me $60. yeah rrrright. but fo real....help a broke sista out. aight...this medicine is makin me sleepy. its been real....in a minute...peace...cream out.

what once was.....is no more....and neither am i.