insomnia.......its getting late...nah fuck that....it is late...and my ass cant sleep. i have sooo much on my mind right now...i was inspired to write. well, 1 week of school left. next week, i take exams and then im out. im not sure how i feel about that. there are some things going on at home that i dont know if i will be able to deal with. plus, im used to having my own space. i like walking around my room naked and making as much noise as i want. oh well....next may i will be making plans to move into my own apartment and start my career. *cheesin* i dont know what im going to do, as far as my career is concerned. i just want to be able to go to work happy and make enough money not to live paycheck to paycheck. thats not too much to ask. of course, like i said in my last post, i want to be happy. truly happy...nothing like i am right now. at the present, im not happy with my situation. i know i talk about school a lot but peeps have no idea how stressful it is. to top that off, im going through some personal things with myself....like donell jones said, i just need time to see where i wanna be...cuz right now, dammit, i dont know. im in a state of confusion. i walk around with a million and one things on my mind. decisions, decisions.

time after time......im writing between coughing fits, blowing my nose, and scratching my eyes. its funny how you dont think about how you treat your body until you get sick. last weekend, i had a fever and felt like shit. i woke up with sweat pouring off of me even tho i was freezin. i laid in my bed and thought about much i mistreat my body. i dont work out to keep it strong. i dont eat right. i dont give it enough rest. hmmm...i wonder why i keep getting sick. i have decided to treat much better than what i have been. shit...its the only body that im going to have. next...ive been thinking about the past year a lot. i feel a lot different than i felt last year....so much has happened to influence my feelings at the present. i want so much for myself....but what i want and i need dont always meet. thats the theme of this school year. last year around this time i was so damn amped because i was spending most of my summer with woo. little did i know that the time i spent there would change so much. i got to see her in a different light. this summer, i dont know what im going to do..... my main goals this summer are to enjoy myself and get all the things i need. i want to put a new hard drive in my computer. i want to teach my niece to swim. yo....i want to do a lot of shit. most of all, i want to be happy. i know no one wants to be unhappy. im sayin i want to be happy because i have spent a lot of time being unhappy. its time for me to smile. aight....i gotta get some homework done. in a minute....peace...cream out.

Questions.......a friend of mine e-mailed me these questions.....

1. Your name spelled backwards. Maerc.

2. Where were your parents born? Roanoke, VA and Mo Bay, St. James, Jamaica.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some pics.

4. What's your favorite restaurant? Chuck’s Seafood.

5. Last time you swam in a pool? Summer '02.

6. Have you ever been in a school play? Nope.

7. How many kids do you want? Maybe 1….maybe none.

8. Type of music you dislike most? Whining ass country.

9. Are you registered to vote? Yep.

10. Do you have cable? Yep.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Yep.

12. Ever prank call anybody? LMAO….hell yeah.

13. Ever get a parking ticket? No.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Yeah, why not?

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? Boston, Mass.

16. Do you have a garden? Nope.

17. What's your favorite comic strip? Boondocks.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yeah, unfortunately.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower in the morning, bath at night.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? The Passion of the Christ.

21. Favorite pizza topping? Extra cheese.

22. Chips or popcorn? Chips….popcorn makes me wanna puke.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Black Cherry.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? WTF?? Hell nah.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Nope.

26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange juice.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? My mother and we went to a Chinese food buffet.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar? Twix.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2000.

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Last summer.

31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yep.

32. Are you a good cook? Yep.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Yep.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? Hell nah.

35. Sprite or 7-up? Sprite.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yeah, I worked at the movies.

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Allergy medicine.

38. Ever throw up in public? Nope.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Hmmmm.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah.

41. Ever call a 1-900 number? Yeah…MC Hammer’s 900 number when I was about 7. I wanted to know who pulled the plug on MC Hammer. LMAO.

42. Can exes be friends? Sometimes….depends on the day.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My girl’s daughter.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Nope.

45. What message is on your answering machine? "Hello….this is Maliyah…Call Creamy back…I love you….Thats my grandma…That’s my Creamy…..Bye.

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Mango.

47. What was the name of your first pet? Shanka Pooh

48. What is in your purse? Orbitz gum, lip gloss, allergy medicine, my ID, and my cell phone.

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Write.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? I woke up this morning.

all falls down......a new layout....same blog. decided to keep my baby. there is no more tagboard either. you can leave a comment at the end of each post. leave ya mark. alrighty....today at work....i was in a pissy ass mood. i didnt get a lot of sleep. everybody that knows me knows that i require at least 8 hours of sleep to be in a good mood. sleep is one of my best friends. anyway, my allergies were bothering me so i was sneezing and scratching my eyes all morning. then, the people got on my damn nerves. callin me with damn attitudes. if i hear "let me speak to your supervisor" one more damn time....ima scream. first of all, they arent even supervisors. supervisors dont take phonecalls. they are people that just walk around and take phonecalls when people are irate or when they ask to speak to a supervisor. 9 times out of 10, the same shit that i told them, is what its gonna be. if i say no, the "sup" is gonna say no. people like me like when you ask to speak to a sup.....i can go get me a soda and chill while you bitch and whine to the "sup" and you still aint gettin shit. how ya love that? lmao.....fyi...dont get netzero, juno, or bluelight if i aint told you already. next....i finally cut my permed ends off of my hair....just in case i forgot to write about it. da kid has a little fro. its weird cuz i finally see my hair natural hair color. its brown with hints of a rust color in it. its kinda cute but i know i will dye it again eventually. im anxious for my fro to grow. its grown about a half of an inch in less than a month so by the end of the summer, my fro should be a nice length. im aiming for an angela davis type fro. next....my mother is coming here next week to take half of my shit home. i cant wait to get the fuck out of this hell hole masked as a school. i graduate next may because of 1 fuckin class. pissy....i know. everything happens for a reason. im gonna go with the flow and TRUST next may....cream will have her damn degree. now, what i will do after that....im not sure. i just want to work, be happy at work, and make enough money to take care of myself and these damn loans that i am going to have to pay back. i want to go to grad school eventually....shit, i might get another bachelors degree. neva know. ok...im sleepy as hell now. in a minute.....peace.....cream out.

5th avenue.......dressed in pink, 2 ponytails on my daddy's lap...holding a needle in one hand, me in the other....at the table with my granddaddy eatin fruit....i love you...ashes to ashes, dust to dust, cancer ate my soul...tainted...back seats of cars, bars with long silver poles....you like that bitch...hands around my neck, tears, makeup gone, bruises exposed, innocence lost.....he loved me...i wont hurt you...trust me...trust me....spring baby...3 years...what's my name bitch...same name....circus clown...4 women...juggling...spreading his seed.....and my legs....trust me baby....you aint shit.....timberlands on my face...you deserve this bitch...salads and laxatives...slim aspirations...fat reality...such a pretty face...stained sheets, crying womb with crimson tears...no babies...dyke...broken hearted...eyes red...street lights...you are my sunshine, my only sunshine...i cant take this...stupid bitch...peace...of...mind...please help....just jump bitch....care..less...you know i love you...love dont love me...negativity...5th avenue never looked so lovely. (c) creambaby.